What instigated all of this for me?

I don’t know, maybe I am too harsh with my condemnation of that Gulf Coast monster. But all I know is that the sight of it triggers something that causes extreme dread to well up within me. So much so that I want to look away from images of it. I have no idea why that might be the case. Quite honestly, I have no idea what any of this really means. Why did the collapse of the Key Bridge instigate all of this for me? Save for my scary run in with that monster so long ago, I’ve never had bad experiences with any bridges at any time in my life, at least not that I can recall. When I went to Savannah many years ago I wasn’t scared of the Talmadge Bridge, nor did it give me the creeps. In fact, I thought it was pretty wild looking and I found it very interesting. I really wanted to get a closer look at it but I didn’t get the chance to do so. Same thing with the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges in San Francisco – I thought they were really neat to see and cross. Of course, I had no idea of the dark side of all of those impressive structures back then. That just didn’t occur to me at all. The Key Bridge jumper death was, in my mind, an anomaly. That was something that mostly only happened in movies, or so I thought. Until recently when I found out that it wasn’t….

The thing is, I really didn’t personally know that jumper at all. So why has this memory stirred such turmoil in me? I may have answered the phone when he called the house to speak to my mom, but that was about it. That untimely death did of course affect my friend, and also my mom. So while it didn’t directly impact me, I did bear witness to the repercussions none the less. My connection to the deceased thru my friend and my mom made it a reality. It wasn’t just a news story on TV, or something recounted by someone I did not know. Someone known to me did indeed take his life that day by jumping off of the Key Bridge. I have known one other person who also chose to check out of life unexpectedly. This person I was a bit better acquainted with, having played with him a couple of times when we were children, and also seeing him occasionally at social gatherings. He did not make use of a bridge as a means to his end, but his death was shocking all the same when I found out. There were some parallels between the two victims. Both were young men who seemingly (at least on the outside) had it all in life. Good jobs, enough money to live comfortably, and friends and loved ones who cared about them. Interestingly, both had purchased new cars not long before they checked out of this life. And unsurprisingly, both deaths totally devastated those around them.