That chilling aspect

When the Key Bridge first appeared in my path on that rainy afternoon so many years ago, it was a total surprise. That was a monster I had no intention of ever meeting up with in real life…. But this time the circumstances will be very different. I know the exact day and exact hour of what’s to come, as I have made the choice rather than having it foisted upon me by circumstance. I now have an appointment to meet this enormous rusty and ancient looking metal monster! Instead of a childhood friend reluctantly helping me search for some creepy old dead tree, I will have a guide leading me, along with anyone else who plans to rendezvous with this monster. A guided safari to explore the gargantuan steel beast that spans the great chasm and walk carefully within, and across its undercarriage. This is a monster I am very much looking forwards to meeting.

But does this denizen of that deep chasm also have a checkered past? A dark history that so many other epic bridges also share? I was rather afraid to look, but felt I had to do so. I just had to know… And the answer is yes, it does indeed. While it cannot begin to even approach the carnage of the Golden Gate Bridge, the New River Gorge Bridge far outstrips most others with regards to being the site of self-inflicted bloodshed. It seems this static and silent edifice often draws willing victims from afar, from other states and even all over the US. It doesn’t take much searching to reveal the bloody notoriety of this cold steel behemoth. So how to reconcile the split personality of this immense structure? Just a section of roadway for travelers, a symbol of joy, thrill and adventure for most others, but also a monument to sadness, doom and gloom to some. I had a hard time trying to do that with the Key Bridge for sure. None of this morbid history would have likely ever entered my mind if not for my intimate knowledge of that fatal plunge from the Key Bridge so many years ago. But it did, and it has, and therefore I must consider and deal with it. The Key Bridge (or any other bridge) would be just a bridge, a passageway across something otherwise hard to navigate, perhaps an architectural and engineering marvel or even a tourist attraction. I’d imagine that’s all that most people think about when seeing or crossing a bridge. The idea of someone leaping from a bridge (or other high point) to end their life is of course universally known, yet few would ever give it any thought outside of a passing mention. That changes, however, when such an event intrudes into and impacts one’s life in some way. Something that strikes way too close to home, as it were. Which was made all the worse by my having known of the graphic and sickening details of that death. Then it becomes an ever present part of the background scenery, like the black cloud that hung over the Key Bridge in my mind. I cannot look at an impressive bridge without thinking and wondering about that sinister association. That chilling aspect will always be in the back of my mind. This schism, at least from my point of view, cannot ever be separated. I have to consider it as a whole and deal with it that way.