Sleepless nights and dark dreams…

Last night was a nearly sleepless one, which are unfortunately becoming a more common occurrence now that menopause is upon me. Imagine being tired, yet being bolt wide awake… My husband gave up and made for the spare bedroom around 2 am, and then I laid there for a while and listened to the thunder and pounding rain of an early morning spring storm. At some point in the night I suppose I did get a minimal amount of sleep, as I do recall parts of some dreams I had. A few of these fragments were rather mundane, concerning routine activities. But there was one very brief portion of a dream that, while not reaching the level of a nightmare, was still quite disturbing. And I know exactly what caused this angst provoking nocturnal imagery. The inspiration was a website, specifically a Facebook page. This page was created by the state to provide updates and information on the rebuilding of the Key Bridge, and I have mentioned it in past entries. The link to it is: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558692757377

This is a separate page from the main state transportation website on the Key Bridge construction project and its purpose is to provide more frequent updates. A very recent update to the Facebook page concerns a wind tunnel test engineers were doing on an apparent model of a possible design of the new bridge. There were several photos of this test with accompanying explanatory text about designing the bridge to resist high winds. I took a look at this right before I turned in to attempt to go to sleep, which really wasn’t a good idea! Now, on the surface of it, there seems to be nothing there that would even begin to spark a dread filled dream. But clearly something caused me to be unnerved, that which fomented an anxiety ridden dream. I don’t recall much imagery, other than what was shown on the page. However, it was the feelings that struck me like a bolt of lightening from the storm that swirled outside. Angst, dread, worry, a sickening feeling – of those negative emotions were present in the extreme. Designing a bridge that doesn’t sway, move too much or suffer damage in a windstorm is a good thing, and would inspire confidence rather than dread. Once I awoke from that brief dream, I laid there for sometime, unable to go back to sleep. From then on, my night was even more restless, until the pale glow of dawn came. That dream left a bad impression on me for sure, but for reasons I do not yet understand. I finally got rid of the nightmares I had about Tampa’s monster bridge, but will I now be having them about Baltimore’s future monster?