Seeking out the sinister
There was yet another factor: I have always been drawn to scary places and things. Why? I have no idea. In my younger days I watched a lot of horror movies and, when I had the time, I read horror stories. Halloween has always been one of my favorite times of the year. But my unintentional run-in with the Bogeyman gave me far more terror than I could have ever bargained for. That was way too much, and was not something I sought out. I was able to turn away from the creepy tree or scary bridge, but the bogeyman chased me down. My ability to control the latter situation was very limited, and it was too chaotic. That is an undesirable fear. But the sinister bridge I can cross – or not. Even my being surprised by the Key Bridge so many years ago still left me the option of turning back. Yes, I would have had to have made an illegal U-turn, but I could have turned away from that challenge had I really wanted to. I don’t have to go anywhere near the Bay Bridge this fall, but I want to. I’m not afraid of it, but it does have some dark aspects. It’s not unlike going into a house or other building that is reputed to be haunted. Most people probably would not see or hear anything unusual at all, but it is just the idea of doing so. Crossing the Sunshine Skyway would be not unlike going into the Amityville Horror house – both are infamous sites of death and evil. I’ve seen the movies and read the books about the latter, and I’ve never had nightmares about that house. But I have had terrifying dreams about the Skyway Bridge.
That is significant. Whenever I have vivid or disturbing dreams about something (generally a place or thing, but once in a while it might be a person) there is a reason. I may not always be aware as to why the dreams come, and sometimes I never find out. Now I have nightmares sometimes, and occasionally some pretty horrible ones. But these dreams are different. They are triggered by something external, generally by me being near something or at a place. A few years ago I was in a client’s home for a little while, and when I went home that night I had some very vivid dreams accompanied by strong emotions about that house. They weren’t really scary, but rather just overwhelming and very intense. The next time I visited that client, again that night I had the dreams. The house was an old plantation home, a huge mansion from the early 18th century. Unfortunately I did not have dealings with that client again and so I was never able to try and find out why I reacted so strongly to that house. I suppose I could do some research into its history if I had the time and inclination. I’ve been in plenty of old homes and buildings, and almost none of them have provoked those sorts of dreams. The other house that did trigger lots of dreams was Bloomfield Manor. None were scary, just vivid and repetitive. Many were dreams of the house having been restored and lived in again. These dreams had some specific details, many of which eventually came true. Sometimes I will dream about a person. I had dreams about my husband before I met him. This was around the time I was dealing with the resurgence of the bogeyman, so I was very confused about the dreams. The dreams were very detailed, and so real that for a few seconds I had to wonder if they were just dreams. I kept meeting this mystery man in my dreams and I was so drawn to him. When I touched him, it was like touching a real person. The difference was not unlike watching an old movie on a black and white tube TV verses watching a modern digitally filmed movie on a modern high definition big screen TV. Most of my dreams are the old tube TV. These intense ones are the modern high def version.
Then there is the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. The closest I’ve ever been to it was the last time I went to Busch Gardens, about fifteen years ago. But I didn’t even know of its existence at the time. But yet watching videos of it triggered all sorts of dreams. Some were terrifying, and some were just very unnerving. I’ve watched videos of many other bridges that I’ve never visited in real life and yet no striking dreams. These are the kinds of dreams where you wake up and they are so realistic you want to turn the light on and make sure you are still safe at home in your bed. This has me totally intrigued, as to why I’d have such a strong reaction to something I’ve never even seen in person. I am pretty sure it has little to do with the bloodshed it has witnessed. I have personally visited and driven across the infamous Golden Gate Bridge, but yet I never had any dreams or nightmares about it. And it is by far the deadliest bridge in North America, and one of the deadliest in the world. And there is the New River Gorge Bridge – I did have a couple of dreams about it before I did the walk, but they were just ordinary dreams about what it might be like to do the walk. Probably as many if not more have died there over the years than at the Skyway. I have never gotten around to trying to figure out what was going on with that old plantation home, but I am determined to get to the bottom of those Skyway nightmares. Doing so will of course require that I pay it a visit. A trip where I can spend a little time in its presence, and of course drive across it. I don’t know if that will provide any answers, but it is worth me trying.