If it still stood, the past would have remained sealed
But when Dundalk’s metal monster was slain by that errant cargo ship before a live camera almost 4 months ago, I was forced to look upon it and acknowledge its existence. I could no longer avoid it nor could I avoid the horrors of its past anymore. At that point, I could only contemplate what remained of it. I was never able to compel myself to face it as it was before it was destroyed. It was quite easy to just avoid the whole thing. The New River Gorge Bridge took the place of the Key Bridge when I arranged my visit with it. It was the stand-in, the understudy, stepping into the lead role once the star of the show was gone forever. A horror show that I had refused to watch, and from which I always turned my eyes. That was, until I was forced to see it and deal with it when the bridge collapsed. It was then that I decided I had to do something. Something daunting and challenging, yes, but it had to be done. I made myself look upon and approach that substitute monster, getting closer than I’d ever thought I’d dare with such an intimidating structure. And most symbolically, it is a bridge that also has a bloody past. I had to face it; to put myself in that situation where I could no longer avoid looking into and tackling this darkness that has been festering deep in my mind for so long.
Other things I’ve noticed are the curious actions and reactions of people to the demise of the demon bridge of Dundalk. Another news story showed scenes from a 4th of July parade held in that very same town. On at least two of the parade floats were effigies of the grey iron monster, proudly displayed as they traversed the parade route. Whomever created those representations must have intended them to commemorate and remember the bridge (and probably also those who died when it collapsed). That which was an awful thing to me obviously was not so to others. Naturally those of us who have a connection to anyone who took their own life by jumping from that bridge are in a tiny minority. So there are many more people who really appreciate and miss the monster and did not see its darkness. Part of me does miss the Key Bridge and wishes it was still there. If it still stood, there would have been no loss of life that night plus the untold economic damage and calamity caused by the collapse. But my reasoning is that because if it had never collapsed, all of this emotional turmoil would still remain buried in that dark corner of my mind. The past would have remain sealed. That sleeping steel hound of hell would have continued to lie….