Being forced to look

Have you ever taken a walk outdoors, perhaps as a child, and decided to pick up a rock just to see what is under it? The top of the rock is just a surface, exposed to sunlight, wind and rain. What apparently exists is what is there front of you out in the open, seemingly nothing more. But, once you lift that rock and look underneath, you will notice all sorts of insects, worms and tiny creatures going about their daily existence, all hidden from view. For some, that hidden world is curious and fascinating, while for others it is gross, repulsive and disgusting. How can such hideous and creepy things lurk beneath the barren surface of an ordinary rock? It is the idea that something ordinary you pass by every day can totally conceal such curiosities – or horrors.

Now that I have lifted the rock, or, should I say, it was lifted for me when the Key Bridge fell, I am astounded and sometimes horrified by what I keep finding. Alice goes further and deeper into the rabbit hole, never knowing what she might see…. But Alice made the choice to follow the white rabbit, and before that to go thru the looking glass. The destruction of the Key Bridge was something that simply happened, and it was that event that pushed me into and thru the looking glass. But like Alice, I have also chosen to follow the rabbit, to enter the dark, meandering and mysterious tunnel he vanished into. Alice came across all sorts of weird, crazy and disturbing characters and places in her subterranean travels. And I have likewise come across much the same, although my rabbit hole is, for the most part, virtual. All sorts of things pop up in my daily online feed, and I never know what will appear there. But as anyone who goes looking in a similar manner knows all too well, those rabbit hole tunnels will continue to branch off, leading to never ending passageways.

Then one day, all of the sudden, I began to get links to videos about people who were rescued from trying to jump off of highway overpasses (and some other structures). No, NO! I did NOT want to be reminded of what I saw on Interstate 77! But that is exactly what happened. What I saw just couldn’t be; I HAD to have been mistaken. At least I pray that I was mistaken and that my gut feeling was wrong. But was that really something that some disturbed people do? Jumping is one thing with regards to the mega monsters, like the Red Queen that rules the Tampa Bay. OK, yes, I believe that is an apt moniker, although I’ve not ever heard of anyone literally losing their head from jumping off the Skyway Bridge. Anyway, I watched some of those videos, and then I got to wondering something. If those are the ones that were saved, then just how many weren’t/aren’t so lucky? Statistically speaking, those who take the plunge (or make the attempt) as a way of checking out of life on their own terms, are rather rare. At least here in North America. Only a small percentage are jumpers as compared to other ways. And furthermore, this small but chilling category is divided up into those who jumped (or tried to) from other structures rather than bridges. I don’t know how these lesser structures (including overpasses) rate as compared to big bridges with regards to how commonly they are used for that deadly purpose. The bottom line is that particular dark subset of self-inflicted destruction is truly the skin-crawling underside of the rock that few ever see – or would want to see. Only those of us who have been forced to look must see it.