A closet trip into the past…and future?

Just this afternoon I was going thru my bedroom closet, looking for a t-shirt I plan on wearing to a roller coaster event at Kings Dominion this fall. As I continued to dig, I saw a grocery bag full of old photographs, in their sleeves complete with negatives. And what picture did I find sitting there atop the stack, showing thru the clear plastic on the front of the sleeve? This photo was something I knew I had, a picture I remember taking, even though it was over fifteen years ago. I had gone thru what I thought was all of my old photos, bringing everything out of my mom’s house over the last few years. But where was my trip to Savannah and Orlando? The answer to that question lay on the floor of my closet, and it had probably been right there since I moved in with my husband years ago. The picture that was on the top was of none other than the metal and concrete monster of Savannah, the Talmadge Bridge. I can’t believe it. Not that I took the photo (which I knew I had) but that it was right there, right on top. Here were all of the photos I took on that trip, from historical buildings, beautiful fountains and flowers in Savannah to visiting jobs I worked on at Universal in Orlando years before. But it was this bridge photo that was visible, as though I had left it that way for my future self. When I found my old pics of a trip to San Francisco, the pics of the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges were on the top as well. Was that a coincidence, or is that how I had stored them on purpose? I can’t in any way remember, as it was too long ago. Here are some of those old photos…

I know back then that I found the Savannah bridge to be both freaky and fascinating, as I had never seen one like it. I was sure I had photographed it, and I was right. I also remember having a strong urge to go back and drive over it again, and maybe take more photos. But I could not find a way to ditch my mom for a little while (nor did I really have time) in order to do so. My mom also thought the bridge was very odd looking but she had no desire to go anywhere near it. So I just took a shot of it from the river front.

I have no idea why I am finding all of this stuff at this point and time. Nor do I have any idea why all of this was kicked off by the collapse of the Key Bridge back in March. Things that have come back up out of my past, like in the way the bogeyman resurfaced much later on out of the blue. When this sort of thing happens in my life, and it has happened before, there is a reason for it. At the time I do not understand the why, but as I’ve grown older I know what is going on. The last time it happened was when the appearance of the bogeyman in my life presaged me meeting the man who would become my husband. I felt like I was caught up in a whirlwind, but in reality I was being blown in a particular direction, like a sailing ship. It felt like endless and aimless drifting, but I was actually headed somewhere specific. I am riding a strong wind current right now, but I have no idea where it will lead me. Sometimes I am led to a person, but other times I end up discovering some sort of self realization or turning point in my life. This isn’t the kind of thing you can just chat with a friend about over coffee, nor is it something I have even told my husband. Even though he finds it rather odd as to how we met. I just know that this is how my life seems to work. All I can do is to wonder at this time where I am headed….