02-26-22

This will be my second entry and I’m just going to be talking about what’s going on in my life and how I’ve been feeling lately. I just decided to go back to school to become a licensed therapist with a specialty in psychotic disorders. It’s going to be a lot of schooling but I don’t mind that. I’m actually really excited to go back to school. I’m only taking psychology and communications because they are late start classes (meaning they start later in the semester) and they will be more condensed. It feels like God is opening new doors for me and I very much appreciate it. I feel like he’s creating a new way for me. Hopefully by the grace of God I will be able to help others deal with some of the things I’ve had to go through.

My relationship with God has been getting stronger but I haven’t had any motivation in general to get things done. I read something in 1 Corinthians that said that I should run in a way that I will win the race, and winning would be having everlasting life in heaven. I think that helps push and motivate me. I think I just need to pray for motivation and that I will driven and focused in general. I’ll ask people in the discord server to pray for me.  I want my relationship with God to be the strongest it has ever been and for it to stay that way.

I had a job interview but I don’t think I’ll be working there because they require a vaccine. I don’t know if I should do work and school or if that would be too stressful. I think for now I’ll just do school but eventually I’ll start working. If I’m being honest I haven’t had much motivation lately, I’ve been pretty depressed because of my mental illness. But hopefully once I start school I will learn more about therapy and It will help me also before I help others.

Dealing with schizophrenia can be difficult but I’ve been getting better at dealing with negative thoughts and I’ve been happier in general. I’ve been getting used to dealing with intrusive thoughts and kinda not caring about them anymore. I can get frustrated at times but I’m sure it will all get easier. I learned that actually schizophrenia and OCD go hand in hand and that would make a lot of sense because I literally thought I had OCD. I see why they do sense I have a lot of intrusive thoughts and I think constantly or at least I used to. I’m excited in learning tactics in how to deal with mental illness and to help others as well!

-Noel