Snow Globe

We’re finally having some fluffy gentle snowflakes falling this afternoon. We’ve only had about an inch, but it’s enough to cover up the brown ground and take away the feeling of the false spring we were having until this week.

I filled up the birdfeeders this morning and now at dusk crowds of red male and orangish female cardinals are gathering in the bare lilac bushes to fly tentatively to the feeders.

It’s a nice snug and cozy feeling to feel the darkness engulf the house and see the falling snowflakes reflected in the street lights.

Well, what happened to Frank?

I wonder myself. He stayed a month. We got along fine, we were working through our habits. We went out. We went shopping together. He fixed a whole bunch of stuff in my house. And we enjoyed each other’s company.

But early on, he indicated he wanted to go back on the road for boilermaking because he wanted to build up his pension some more. That is what I call a bait and switch. He told me before he came that he was done with traveling and would look for other jobs.

He got a boilermaker job that would run five 10 hour days in Nebraska for four weeks. He wouldn’t have been able to come back on weekends. And he when he told me about it, all I could see was empty and lonely weekends while I waited for him to come back.

Yeah, sure, it was for only four weeks, but it wasn’t that job, it would be the next and the next as he kept building up that pension.

Most people have some sort of thing that makes them feel secure and for Frank, it’s money. He doesn’t spend money, he hoards money. He’s terrified of spending it.

And while he was building up his money pile, I would be sitting home by myself waiting for a fleeting glance.

And that was it. I didn’t want a long distance relationship. And he left.

I feel stupid, because I should have been more cautious and a little less trusting.

After Frank left, I called Joe. He cried and cried, and I felt so bad.

We’ve been through so much these four years and we still stick together. So here we are again. We’re not perfect. We argue. We drive each other crazy. I don’t have the inner peace I had with Ray, but Joe isn’t Ray.

But, hey, last summer, he came over and killed a bat flying around in my bedroom. How cool is that to have my very own Batman?

He gave his notice at his apartment and is gradually moving in and will be totally in by March. He’ll pay expenses and that will help me save more money for retirement.

And about those grandsons – I went to the older grandson’s band concert on Thursday night. He’s in a little jazz band and they were quite good. Oh, Quincy plays the trumpet.

The younger one plays the trumpet, too, plus the trombone in his after school program.

And the younger one had an awesome basketball game today. He’s not a starter, but comes in off the bench and did a great job guarding some of the taller guys.

And that’s life in a snow globe.

Quincy is the middle trumpet.

Ashlin is the one with the ball.