Wk 4 – That You Were Not Unworthy

Didn’t do too well tonight at work. Most phones weren’t answering, and most who did answer did not want to help out with the survey. I’d say a lot of it was my tone of voice too – I wasn’t in "I am so fresh and bubbly and you’re gonna love me" mode.

I met up with Esther today. We met at just past 11 and she had to start work at nearly 3. I wondered at the time why she chose such an early hour. She had mentioned it would give us "plenty of time" to catch up. I laughed to myself and thought that an hour or so would have sufficed. Indeed, we spent the next 3hrs talking about anything and everything, and opening up to each other. It was so beautiful, and lovely, and crazy all at the same time. Perhaps the friendship we shared at the respective ages of 10 and 14 really did make an outstanding impression on our souls and we still share that same connection ? In saying that, she was my best friend for a good 4years… I don’t necessarily feel close to her NOW but I think our connection is still there.

I really miss my Bebito. I was at work, slaving away, and just thinking about how lovely it will be to go home to my Bebito when I realised that would not be the case. He’s coming home tomorrow night, as Wednesday is a public holiday. So at least I get to see him halfway through the week this week. Pity I still have to work on the Wednesday though, but at least it’s an evening job : ) so we’ll get to spend the day together.

I had booked myself a massage at 11 tomorrow, with Mum. But she has texted me to tell me to come earlier. Reason for that is that she has booked her van for a Wheel Alignment and she wants me to come with her, so I can give her a lift back home. The massage will ensue. I was a bit annoyed that she just went ahead and booked the alignment, without working out with ME first whether I would be available, or whether it would convenient enough for me to go with her. I really wanted to say NO. But I didn’t know how to, and couldn’t come up with a good enough reason to. It is going to inconvenient fuel-wise but  I couldn’t give her that reason because she gave me $40 for fuel the other day, and it was *I* who chose to spend it on The Kids instead. Then I realised that at the end of the day, I am getting a FREE massage. And hence my providing a lift back home would be my "payment" for the massage. Una mano lava la otra.

I texted Deity today, to see if she would like to catch up properly sometime this week. She hasn’t replied yet, which is unusual. I hope she’s okay. It would be nice to see her before the weekend.

My words are plastered on the wall

And everything goes on as if unchanged

Your absence makes my heart stall

Unknowing, yet knowing where you stand

One day you will be where I’ve been

One day you will see what I see

And you will know and understand

That you were not unworthy

by Diosa Deamore 10.08.09