Release

We went for a beautiful walk tonight. I was quite wound up and decided I needed to relax, and revitalise…

I need the fresh air, and the views of water and greenery… and the sound of a million birds singing through the skies… I needed the mellow colours on the horizon, and the people walking their dogs, and the kids riding their bikes… The ducks gliding in complete and utter peace.. and canetoads hopping along in their own little world..

We sat on a bench by the lake, in silence. Deep inside I was brewing.. and I found myself struggling to just let go… To allow my mind to soak up all the goodness around me.. And tears were brimming at my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.. And as Sinjay hugged me ever so gently, and so worried for me, and asking quietly if everything was okay… I felt myself tense up and it made me even sadder..

I wondered if perhaps I really just needed Alone Time.. And yet I’d asked him to come along and had secretly cringed when he didn’t respond straight away, fearing I would have to go on my own.. And yet here I was wishing for a moment that I really had gone along on my own..

I confuse myself sometimes, I don’t understand.. And this makes me cry even more.. And Sinjay just held me… He’s a beautiful beautiful man…

Eventually I sunk into the goodness of his arms, and his face against mine, and his warmth wrapped around me.. And I realised that I should just relish in this moment that I have him… For no other reason than because I have him.. I still have him.. Some people out there have lost their loved one…

We walked along to the other side of the lake and sat on the steps outside the Sales Centre, facing the beautiful glassy ink of glimmer before us.. And just delved in conversation..

Well, lol, mostly he told me about stuff. Car stuff. Really detailed car stuff lol. He’s lucky I actually find it all quite fascinating lol. And understand words like injectors, cams, bottom end, dyno and torque. You know.. random words like that.

And now we’ve ordered some pizza. Yummy yummy pizza.

Surely Life can’t better than pizza on a Wednesday night.

I am feeling MUCH better…..