Clive

Clive is online.

I don’t say Hi because I have made several attempts lately at communicating with him, and he has not responded. I will not pursue.

Finally he says a huge hello. We get chatting.

And I realise something .. something that has been nagging at me the last few interactions I’ve had with him..

That I am sick of stupidity.

His stupidity.

He is 40 going on 15.

He doesn’t seem to understand ANYTHING about this life..

He fantasizes about having sex with his ex-wife and asks me in desperation, "What does that mean !?!?!"

I reply, "Well, she’s only been THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE lol, of course you’ll fantasize about her !!"

How did he get through this life without the most basic of comprehension..? How did he survive a marriage and a child (through IVF no less) and still not understand how … things work?

I also realise that I am merely his Counsellor.

And nothing more.

I am NOT a friend to him.

When I realise this in people – and it happens more often that I like to admit – I also realise it is time to let them go…

The friendship is not fruitful to both parties.

Hence.. not worth my time.

I also realise that he’s taken time off of me – for a reason.. Perhaps I am NOT giving him what he needs anymore.. Perhaps I have become a somewhat toxic presence in his life…

I can be very blunt and sarcastic with him.. and it wouldn’t surprise me if I’ve become toxic..

There’s not many people I can be like that with.. But these things have an expiry date.

He’s even moved house recently, and I’ve known NOTHING about it.

Fine.

No great loss.

You never really LET ME INTO your life anyway…

Just your confused mind.

*sigh*