Centrelink/Payrise/Savings/Parenting

So I’m currently applying for Centrelink, right.

There’s really not much I can get. I’ve known from the get-go that because of Sinjay’s earnings, I won’t be eligible for much. I figured out possible 120 a fortnight, but I was happy with that. Better than nothing.

But there are quite a few red flags with my situation. Not only does Sinjay earn very closely to Centrelink’s cut-off point, but (a) I left work voluntarily, so they’re currently assessing the reasons for that and whether the Application should go onto the next step. Usually, there is an 8week waiting period for payments, if you’ve left work voluntarily. Bubba is due in less than 8weeks, so… (b) I left work 8weeks before my due date, as opposed to within the last 6weeks, which is deemed "acceptable" by Centrelink. And therefore, even if they say OK we accept your reasons for having left work voluntarily, I still might not be eligible for payments in the last 6weeks. Leaving me with 2weeks pay from Centrelink. (c) we have enough funds to cover 2weeks Centrelink payment – and therefore I might not be eligible for payment for the first 2weeks ANYWAY. Meaning, I won’t get Centrelink AT ALL during this time, until Bubba comes along and we start getting the Family Tax Benefit.

So yes… It’s all up in the air. A little bit of nothing would’ve been good. But at the same time, I’m not gonna stress. Centrelink isn’t something that we are all ENTITLED TO. It is merely a back-up plan, and if it goes through then great, if not then too bad.

At the same time, Sinjay has talked about his wages with Rory. You see, Bebe finishes his Apprenticeship in June, at which point his pay would’ve gone up to that of a fully qualified Auto Electrician (sexy sexy Auto Electrician man that he is!). But Auto Sparkies get next-to-nothing in wages, unless they work out at the mines, and of course with kids on the way, that’s no longer really an option for us.

[I have suggested to him many times that he go work out at the mines for a little while under his Apprenticeship and he has constantly said no because he wanted to complete it with Rory – and well, now you have it, you can’t really go out to the mines now because you’ll have kids to spend time with. Grrrr…. We may yet look into that option…. We haven’t fully said no to the idea..]

Anyhow, Rory said to Sinjay that given Bubba was being born in April, he was willing to lift the wages as at April !! Now, this is a HUGE HUGE blessing to us.. not to mention an absolute miracle. I mean, WHO DOES THAT ?! Bosses don’t just go, "Oh here, have some free money" you know ?? Obviously, it goes to show that Sinjay is a very good worker, and a very good employee, well-respected for his skill etc. We were over the moon with this news.

Rory also said, "Let me know how much money you guys will need and I will try my hardest to match it". Again, a massive miracle, but in my head I was thinking ‘Rory, if only you knew ! This offer is much too unrealistic’. I mean get this, when we were BOTH earning full-time wages WE STRUGGLED. It’s just the way life is. And even though we have now paid off the 3 Personal Loans that we had at the time, I’m no longer a full-time wage earner. So we continue to struggle.

Anyhow, we came up with a figure of 800pw, after tax. Sinjay thought it was a bit much at first and was scared to talk to Rory about that figure, especially as the most experienced Auto Sparky there (Brad) doesn’t even earn that much. But when Sinjay met Louis’ mate Nick, who is a fully qualified Auto Sparky out at the mines, and he’s only 21, and he is earning about 1000pw.. Sinjay thought that 800pw was justifiable.

Recently, Sinjay happened to mention to Rory that I had finished up work. And Rory turned around and said, "Well, let me know when you need that payrise". (!!!!!!) Again, another miracle, and another penchant for how well appreciated Sinjay and his work is at that place, and how kind-hearted Rory can be. [Yes, he’s rough as guts and I’m never inviting him to my home again* – but hay… ]

So Sinjay finally talked to Rory last week about the 800pw, and Rory said he can’t do it. He said at most he can do 720-730pw. He offered Sinjay alternatives though. (a) he could sacrifice 2weeks Annual Leave and he’ll have that figure divided out throughout the year, taking it to approx 750pw. (b) Sinjay could work longer hours 7:30-5pm and therefore the extra hours would take his wage to NEARLY 800pw.

We talked about these options. Sinjay wasn’t willing to give up HOLIDAYS. I didn’t think it was a good idea either because, of all times in his life, he now NEEDS the holidays as much as possible so that he CAN spend time with his child/ren.

Secondly, Sinjay is at his workplace those VERY HOURS (7:30-5pm) ANYWAY and I told him that the only difference will be that, rather than hanging out for 30mins prior and 30mins later.. he will actually still be working.. and therefore that seemed the better option – to actually GET PAID for the time that he’s already spending at his workplace anyway. Sinjay agreed, especially as he KNOWS that in those first and last 30mins, there really isn’t much work to be ACTUALLY DONE.

SO… Sinjay now has to talk to Rory about putting the payrise in place soon.. I’d say within the upcoming weeks.. And that will be a huge help anyway…

* Reason for why I’m never gonna invite Rory into my home again is because I’ve given him one chance too many. The first time ’round was our Housewarming Party way back in October 2008. Rory & Helene got drunk as HELL and it was PURE DISASTER. Aside from their constant swearing, and talking about GROSS STUFF, Rory insulted my friend-at-the-time Candice. Remember Candice? Beautiful Thai Candice? Yeah. Because she was Asian. He kept calling her names. Needless to say, that cut our slowly-budding-friendship short quick and fast. I have not had much to do with Candice since then. I decided at the time that I would NOT be involved in any way, shape or form, with Rory or Helene, or any of Sinjay low-life workmates. But alas, I have given in and been a good wifey and gone along to all their Work Xmas gatherings etc. Over time I have gotten to know them a little bit, and they’ve gotten to know ME. You would think that by getting to know me, they would have , by now, a fair idea of how they SHOULD behave in MY home. I don’t talk rubbish, I don’t swear, I don’t talk sex, I don’t get drunk and disorderly. Anyhow, by inviting them to the Baby Shower, it was like my second chance to them. But no… they spoiled it. They got drunk when NOBODY ELSE did. They were swearing and carrying on. They were talking DISGUSTINGNESS – about their trip to the strippers, how Helene gave a stripper a spank, etc etc etc. And thick fat jokes about sex in general, like when we were talking about my stretched-out belly and Sinjay innocently said he can’t wait for my belly-button to pop because he’s "never seen the bottom of the bellybutton" and Helene was like "Are you sure ???? You’ve never seen the bottom of her bellybutton??? So how did this happen ????" It was just disgusting. I was SO SO embarrassed, and humiliated you know. Because these are NOT the kind of people I&n

bsp;choose to associate with. You wanna talk about sex? Well, there is a PLACE and TIME for everything. And if you’re gonna do it, you will do it in an open and accepting and giving and mature environment – in just the same manner.

The final straw though was when I leaned over to Dad and said something quietly in Spanish. BOTH of them burst out with, "Bloody foreigners !!!! Talking in their own language !!!! Gosh, I thought you were stuttering for a second there. I thought you were having a fit !!!!" I was SO SO SO SO SO aghast at this reaction that I was left in shock. I’m not good with comebacks in general… but FUCK ME DEAD… I really really really needed a DAMN GOOD comeback right at that moment and I could think of none.. absolutely none. I made out like their immature outbursts were no skin off my back and proceeded to explain in ENGLISH what me and Dad were conversing about. Later on that night, as I lay in bed a million comebacks came to me. I was just SO ANGRY. How DARE they INSULT ME in my OWN HOME !?!? HOW DARE THEY !??!?!?!?!?!?!? I was letting off my steam to Sinjay who had the AUDACITY to tell me that speaking in another language in their presence is "rude". I was FURIOUS. "It’s NOT rude Babe !!!! It’s NOT rude !!!! I can understand if me and Dad were having our own little party , our own chuckle and laughter… THAT is rude. But when you’re trying to include yourself into the group even when the talk is DISGUSTING and you’re being IGNORED and not included at all …. Then me leaning over to Dad and saying somethign QUIETLY in SPANISH is NOT RUDE. And if you have a problem with me speaking in Spanish to my parents, then that’s YOUR problem, NOT mine. If you wanna be racist and fall into the same category as Helene & Rory…… *I* don’t have a problem with you speaking in ENGLISH to YOUR PARENTS, so I don’t see why YOU should have a problem with ME speaking in SPANISH to MY PARENTS." Ohhhhhh, you should’ve heard me !!!!!!! I told Sinjay that there was room for defense for people such as Helene & Rory, who come into MY HOME and behave the way they do. I told him that they are no longer welcome in my home, and that I certainly do NOT want my daughter around low-lifes like them.

Anyhow…. lol

At the same time, Jodi got me "The $21 Challenge" by Simple Savings for the Baby Shower ! SUCH an awesome gift ! I had seen that book at Big Dub just recently, wishing I could buy it. And now I’ve got it !!! It’s basically a challenge to get you to REALLY LOOK at what you’ve got in your pantry and fridge, and USE THOSE INGREDIENTS to cook and bake for the week.. and anything extra you need you can buy – but it has to be up to $21 only. The figure itself is just part of the game. You can change the figure to give yourself a challenge that YOU KNOW will be a challenge to you. But that’s the gist of it.

Basically, it helps you to see your food storage differently, and obviously to start organising your kitchen and cooking differently, and that way, in the long-run you end up saving money.

She also got me a year’s SUBSCRIPTION to simplesavings.com and I am SO grateful for this!! So if I can learn to save money in nifty and creative ways, it could mean that we won’t need AS MUCH income as we might think we need. You know ?? We’ll have to see, and just check it out – give it a go.

It’s funny because.. I already consider myself someone who saves a lot of money in a lot of different ways. Not because of the dollar value per se, but simply because the things I do are more practical, or "less hassle"… It’s just "the way I do things"… These things include:

* using the tiniest fraction of toothpaste on my toothbrush – it cleans just as well as sliding toothpaste right across the whole brush

* I learnt 8yrs ago to wash my hair just once a week – as recommended by a hairdresser. Your hair HATES it at first and goes wild and oily and yuck. But if you’re patient enough, within about a month your hair gets used to having chemicals through it just the ONCE per week.

* when I left MA and I knew funds were going to be stretchy for awhile, I actually invested in a 1L bottle of GOOD SHAMPOO for $30 and this will last me forever

* I learn TEN years ago to diminish my use of soap & shower gel – as recommended by my (hippy) doctor at the time. She said our bodies know how to clean themselves and warm water should generally be enough. Since then, I have used shower gel sparingly.. perhaps twice a week. No, I don’t stink.

* I add a little bit of water to my shower gel to make it last a little bit longer

* When I found a lump under my underarm about a year ago that concerned me (it was fine, it went away) I made the decision once and for all to diminish my use of deodorant. When working, I use it every few days, when not working I use it only when I leave the house. And no, I don’t stink !! (I might be lucky, and not actually have strong body odour, I don’t know).

* I buy Home Brand deodorant for 60c

* I stopped buying so much processed food about 2-3years ago (such as quick meals and canned foods). I actually use plain pasta and plain rice, and use fresh veggies. Much cheaper.

* In general, I am not into junk food such as chips, biscuits, cordial, softdrink etc etc. These are not part of my regular grocery shopping.

* We use the tiniest amounts of dishwasing liquid – it cleans just as well as creating bubbles in the sink

* We buy dishwashing liquid for $2 (Earth Choice from Woollies)

* We clean the kitchen, bathroom and toilet with a concentrate multi-purpose cleaner and you only need to use the smallest of capfuls in a big bucket of hot water

* I plan my own car trips in such a way as to include any errands to be done in the one trip: Eg, video needs to be returned  by Friday, we also need break and milk by Thursday, and we’re going to go see Mum’n’Dad on Thursday night anyway. So I’ll throw the errands into the trip out to Mum’n’Dad’s.

* I only use the aircon in my car when I have other people in the car, to save on fuel (this personal rule has changed a little recently, what with the pregnancy making the Summer heat absolutely unbearable)

* I wind the windows up as soon as I hit 80kph, to save on fuel

* We borrow videos and order pizza ONLY ON TUESDAYS… never ever on any other day of the week. And if we do (eg, we get together with Justin & Lynette who want pizza on a Saturday night) we budget for it in advance and commit ourselves to indulging on that night

I can’t think of anything else. These are the things I do without even thinking, that have come to the top of my head just now.

Anyhow, but despite doing all of these, I still think there could be OTHER THINGS to do to save money or general usage, that I’m not thinking about. Or perhaps that I take for granted – perhaps the coin hasn’t dropped just yet. So yeah, I’m very excited about the book and the subscription.

I am ESPECIALLY look

ing at being more frugal because of Bubba’s pending arrival, obviously. Mostly because.. this will probably sound pretty bad.. but because I REALLY DO LIKE having my odd dinner outing and my odd "coffee & cake" date. And I don’t see how I should deprive myself of THESE just because there’s one more person in the house, basically. SO… the idea is to not have to spend SO MUCH on basic survival… because survival should be basic.

So for example, rather than spending full-price on childrens’ clothing, I’m already planning on just keeping my eye out for those random $5-10 sales you can come across throughout the year.. and buying in advance, even if Cherub might not need those clothes RIGHT NOW. And I’m already planning on getting my act together already, and learning how to cook, so I don’t have to resort to quick and expensive meals – such as quick pastas and take-out because we’re too hungry and Mum hasn’t cooked dinner yet. You know ??

I was so scared for a long time, thinking that having children would be far too expensive. But in my short time as a "parent" I have decided that people just need to stay level-headed about things. Don’t give into consumerism. And certainly don’t give in to your child’s whining when they can’t have the latest accessory. And this is also gonna sound bad.. but I’m of the belief that.. well… who the fuck is your child anyway? Yes, they are a "little person with wants and needs" but these wants and needs have to be TRAINED.. and at the end of the day, they’re not the ones working their little arses off… YOU ARE.

Perhaps my way of thinking might change once I am actually a REAL parent. We’ll see. But *I* was never spoiled with anything much whilst growing up, and I daresay I will probably stick to the same tactics as a parent myself. It worked. I’m a MUCH MORE practical person than I would have been otherwise. Do you REALLY need the same dress in 3 colours ??? No not really. Just one. And do you REALLY need that one dress to start off with? No not really. OR… no, but I want it and I have the money for it at this time, so why not?

It’s funny because.. Kelly has told me several times that our child will be a very lucky and unique child – because our relationship and our love for each other is very unique. She is SO very excited I think, to see how everything pans out with us being parents. But I really think that people will be surprised. I really think that I will be a lot more traditional than anyone will ever expect.

I was telling Tash and Jodi about the list of "Things to be done in the next 20years" that I complied recently. It’s just events. Like when we need to enrol Cherub into school, and when she’ll be graduating, and when she’ll be due for her Ps. And other things such as checking on all appliances at 10 & 15 yrs and replace if necessary. And even stuff like putting in our Weddings (we plan on hosting a Wedding every 10yrs). Just to get a visual of what’s expected, what needs to be done during any one year – what sort of expenses we’ll be up for. Anyhow, they were both laughing. Jodi says that I am extremely organised then, and Tash said, "It’s so strange because you’re usually so… free spirited".

I thought to myself that yes, I AM free-spirited and life-loving, but I can also be very anal in other areas of my life. I always used lists, and check-boxes, and wrote down goals and To-Do Lists… I always used these as a teenager… So I really do think that people in general will be quite surprised lol.

Then again.. it’s not just ME who will be the parent. I will have Sinjay to fall back on, and bounce off too.. and who knows, a lot of my ideas or what I THINK I will be like… might not turn out.. because of HIS influence on me.. and vice-versa…

I think we will be GREAT parents together though. He is really amazing. Already we have discussed different scenarios and how we would deal with each of them. And I really love his take on things.. and his approach. I have learned much from him already.

I love the way we WORK in general. We’re so good for each other. We’re so good together. We love each other SO MUCH. I love that we are SO DIFFERENT … and yet so similar in certain aspects..

Anyhow, I’m looking forward to being a Mum : ) I’m looking forward to having my little girl with me, and having her live LIFE with me.. I’m looking forward to showing her off.. And just being good COMPANIONS together. That’s what I seek. I tell her that i want us to have a really good relationship, where we can both share and meet on equal solid ground, and respect each others differences, and praise each others’ accomplishments. I really want us to be FRIENDS.

I struggle with how much I will or won’t share about myself with her… On the one hand, I don’t want to share anything about my sexual past with her. Because I think that.. it’s unncessary, and because it might influence her way of thinking about male/female relationships (when I had no relationships to begin with!).. and because I want her to have a different experience to me – a healthy and wholesome experience. But at the same time, I want to be 100% honest and raw and fresh with her, I want her to love me for Me, crazy sexual past or no crazy sexual past.. You know what I mean? I don’t know what I will do come the time – come the time when she actually has a concern.. like when she’s 16 and has a steady boyfriend and has an actual real concern…. I don’t know how I’ll go with that because I never a steady boyfriend in my teens.. I had barely kissed a few boys at random by 16… You know??

Anyhow… nothing to worry about NOW I suppose. I just want to be REAL with her. But how REAL is real ? I guess, that is the question.

OKAY, enough for now. I’m done.