Boundaries

Sinjay was mightily pissed off this morning.

Sam had squished ice blocks into the freezer last night, on the outer edges of the freezer baskets, and as a result, the freezer door had been left open all night long. The fridge was making an awful awful loud rumbling noise that rumbled throughout the house.

Sinjay was spitting chips and saying that if the noise didn’t settle on its own, Sam would have to either fix the fridge or buy us a new one.

Of course, I personally thought that this was a bit extreme. After all, it’s not a brand new fridge. In fact, it’s a very old old fridge, possibly about 12yrs old now.. although it was in storage for 10yrs.. But herein the complication of the situation.

I was quite nervous. I was thankful that Sam was not in the house because she works morning shifts every Wednesday. Sinjay told Louis that he will be "very angry" with Sam.

I was rushing through all the best ways to handle the situation in my head. I said it would be best to have a professional look at the fridge and give us an outright diagnosis before going ahead and judging Sam, when for all we know it may just be the fridge’s time.

But Sinjay is a brain. He fuckn knows about these things. He explained to me that it was the fan – the fan had overworked itself all night, and therefore was now left working under par.

Luckily, he discovered himself that the fan blades had frozen over with ice, and it was the ice causing the loud rattle. He cleaned the ice off the fan, and the noise disappeared. I was pretty thankful for this. No major dramas, then.

Sinjay is still angry that he’s gonna have to eat all of his meat in a hurry now, and he insists he will be "having words" with Sam tonight. I’m not looking forward to being around – but what can I do… At the end of the day, Sinjay needs my support in this too.

I can’t do anything more about it because it is SINJAY’S fridge. Any ultimate say upon any matter relating to the fridge is HIS.

Anyhow… I really really hope she looks to move out soon. Sinjay had already made a fuss about the fact that she’d left our chairs out "in the weather" last night.. He knocked on their door, and talked to Louis about it. Louis went outside and brought the chairs in under the carport.

*sigh*

Sinjay really hates Sam. He can’t stand her. But he really needs to keep in mind that as much as he hates her, she is the girl that HIS BROTHER has chosen as a partner (a life partner, no less) and he should really keep Louis in mind in all of this I think.

I mean, we have to LIVE WITH them… You know? We can’t be blowing up every time something is not done properly. Although, you gotta admit, they really DO need to learn a thing or two – and how will they learn if we don’t start laying down some boundaries?

I guess, that’s my problem – I’m not good at laying down boundaries. I hate confrontation. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Even the most insignificant of confrontations, which might not be a form of confrontation AT ALL, I hate.

I hate that I am like this. It is a massive weakness that I want to overcome.

Of late, I have thought that I really need to learn how to say "no" and how to lay down my boundaries. Not because I have necessarily needed to.. but because, as a mother, I know that I will need to. And I need to learn how to do that NOW.

Years ago, Mum lent me this (Christian) book called "Boundaries". I’ve never been interested in reading it – I never thought I needed it. But I kept an open mind because I knew that one day it might come in handy.

I have started to read that book lately. It’s all about defining your personal boundaries. And because it’s written from a Christian point of view, coincidentally it has references to the Bible and how the Bible teaches you these things also. But I don’t mind. I’ve read New Age self-help books before, surely I can read a Christian self-help book. I am learning much from it already.

Anyhow…