37 weeks – General Stuff

The day started off with sorting bills and making payments, whilst also meeting Rachael’s new boyfriend Phillip : ) through Gmail Chat. It was a real pleasure to chat to him, and I liked that Rachael was letting us meet so soon. It shows she is VERY comfortable with him. Proud of him (although this has been evident in the few entries she’s written about him). In fact, the way she has written about him is different to the way she has written about other boys, including Steven and Kevin. I think that this relationship will, in the very least, be a very fruitful and mature relationship. And I’m actually REALLY excited for her lol. That’s it, I can’t contain it anymore. I am SUPER SUPER happy for her… and I can’t wait to watch them unfold beautifully together.

Mum had sent me a text saying that she wouldn’t go swimming today because she’d woken with lots of energy, which she was going to channel into cleaning her house. I felt disappointed but equally understood where she was coming from – she was explaining to me the other day that her day technically lasts from 10am-2pm. This is the time she has available between dropping The Kids off at school, and picking them up again. But rarely does she get to do much housework. Admittedly she browses online A LOT, and these mere 4hrs are probably taken up by Facebook. But when she wakes up with oodles of energy and she’s prepared to throw those 4hrs into cleaning – then so be it. Nothing *I* can do about it.

One thing that disappointed me though was that we had decided Wednesdays would be good for swimming because Chelsis also has her violin lessons on Wednesdays. So in effect, we’d committed to making Wednesdays Chelsis’ "extra-curricular days". And I didn’t like that this was being dismissed by Mum. You know, like, too bad that she woke with oodles of energy ON THIS DAY because ON THIS DAY it is Chelsis’ extra-curricular day… you know??

Anyhow, then I realised that Chelsis didn’t have to miss out. I was gonna go swimming anyway – at Springfield instead of Forest Lake. But I realised I could just as easily pick up Chelsis and go swimming with her regardless. So that’s exactly what I did !

It’s really good to spend sisterly time with her. It’s a whole other dynamic, compared to how it is when we’re around the rest of The Kids. For example, the other day she opened up to me about her "love troubles". She has liked Lachlan for a long time, but Isalia was a BITCH and revealed this secret to him. Hence, he has rejected Chelsis altogether, roling his eyes at her, and not wanting to be near her, and she was expressing her sorrow at "having lost her best friend". She was struggling because she has since tried to tell him that she no longer likes him, and she tries hard not to look his way, etc etc. I told her that Isalia was a bitch about the whole thing and she should have never done that. (lol) I told her that only Time will make everything go back to normal, to just be patient. I told her that once Lachlan sees that she is indifferent towards him, things will go back to normal, but stressed that it will take time. I empathised that boys can be very immature about these things – that they don’t know how to react when it comes to things like this. I empathised that it was very hard to go through it.. but that in the end you’re always best off being friends until you’re 100% sure that he likes you back. (lol) She said her and Isalia are "learning to trust each other" now.

Keehan and Isalia have liked each other for a long time – and by the sounds actually "been together" for a long time. (Kids!) But Keehan revealed to Chelsis that he actually likes a girl at his school – and that he will be asking her out soon, but that if she says No, then he’d be glad to stay with Isalia. I told Chelsis that she absolutely MUST tell Isalia this because it means that Isalia is "coming second" and NO WOMAN should EVER accept coming second to ANY MAN !!! (lol) I told her that we should only ever be with people who are willing to give what WE give – that "second" is not good enough. I told her that I liked a boy at Uni, but he also liked many other girls, and I used to always tell myself "But at least I have a little bit of him". I told her vehemently that they should NEVER fall into that trap because it causes the heart a LOT of pain. I told her that in the end I realised it was hurting too much, and I had to end it with him. [That was Mick!]

There was no "opening up" today. I mean, it’s not necessary. But I like that we can have our own little conversations. It seems she REALLY wants to help out with looking after Cherub once she’s born… But I dunno… I don’t know how I’ll go with that…

Speaking of Cherub, Mum says the belly has very obviously dropped by now. I told her that as of TODAY I technically have 3weeks to go. She said, "Hmmm… Perhaps 3 days… Or a week…"  !!! So hmmm… we’ll see what happens.

Last night, in the middle of the night, she was really pushing out of my stomach. This is a normal occurrance and I can usually feel her little bum-bum, and it’s so cute! But this time the bump was much too sharp ! I was so curious that I began to really FEEL around this small sharp bump, and I could swear it was like, her HEEL or something !! And I was thinking, ‘Oh my gosh Bubba.. This is like, your heel… It’s totally freaking me out Bubba…’ LOL. I mean, here I was feeling a full-on BODY PART inside my own body…. It was awesome though… lol

I caught up with Chris S on Facebook Chat the other evening. It was awesome. He said that I seem really really happy. I told him that I have never been happier in my life. He said that he’s really happy for me, as he always thought I was "a nice chick" and has always wondered about me and wished me all the best. (I get a lot of people give me that sort of feedback, to be honest… I am truly blessed… I think I touch people in a way that … I’m not necessarily touched by others… in a special way… I feel very privileged in that regard..) Anyhow, then he had some warm and "stern" words of advice: To keep looking after myself. He revealed that his divorce was due to 2 post-natal depressions. He told me not to let the crying and the endless feeding get to me – to just take time out when I needed it.

His sombre words got me thinking, as "looking after myself" is something I have trouble with NOW… let alone when I’m busy looking after a baby… And I’ve thought a LOT about how I’m really going to have to be "selfish" for the sake of my Bubba… and just tend to myself every now and then… with hot baths, and reading books, and maybe delving into my art.. etc.

Sometimes I naively wonder whether it’s really not all THAT bad… not as bad as parents make it out to be… And by the same token I also wonder if it’s worse than parents CAN describe and whether I’ll be able to cope… I’ve read throughout the pregnancy that these are normal fears – and I haven’t felt any of these fears until these last few days…. Anyhow… One can only go THROUGH this… There’s no turning back now ! lolololol

<p>Not much more to report on. So I shall say goodbye now.

Tata.