Run away…

Ashley and I have this plan to run away. How great would that be? Be away from this goddamn place and my fucking parents and everything.

*isn’t happy*

This past however fucking long has been fucking horrible.

And I don’t know when it’s gonna get better.

Oh yeah for eating no more than 250 calories today! As long as my mom doesn’t make me eat anything tonight that works. And it’ll hopefully be like this for a while.

Hopefully.

I seriously want to just curl up into a ball and sleep forever…

The thing is…I’m happy. Generally. Because of Kelly. And things are good. I’m just fvcking stupid. And selfish. And a horrible person. I hate myself with all my heart. I just want to be okay with who I am for once. I hope things get better for you.

wats so bad in your life? wats worth running away from? is your parents not understanding? WELL GUESS WHAT REALITY CHECK NO ONES PARENTS ARE. you think u hav it bad please dont kid your self. were you raped when you were a child? did you have to go throu things that were that bad? were you abused? yea thats what I thought. And what the hells up with u not deserving Joe? WTF Do u hurt him that much

to a point where its that bad. stop saying that cause u make urself sound pathetic. oh u dont deserve anyone. Man if u heard urself saying that. please you make of who u are and who u deserve and not. so what if ur hurting him THEN STOP. WOW want that easy. damn I almost broke a sweat. DAMN. And please stop saying stupid things because you are in control of your life. If u feel unhappy CHANGE IT.

sure its not easy but u know what ur not going anywhere with out any effort. if u constantly say u hav a crappy life then u know what u will. tats how it works in this world. And u know it doesnt matter wat u deserve and wat u dont cause u know wat as long as u care for him then nothing in the world matters.

hopefully Ive gotten through to u. Life is meant to be a bitch but we got to keep going strong.

laurrraaaa…… why are u so hard on urself?? i just read like 5 or 6 of ur past entires cuz i thought ur od was private and well, not its not u keep criticizing urself u are NOT stupid. that entry about how u dont deserve joe? hes lucky to have u ur like one of the coolest and sweetest ppl i know so dont be too hard on urself i think u just need a break from the craziness of it all <3 farah