memories fucking suck

Time: 12:53 P.M.
Mood: Empty
Music: Nothing
Eating/Drinking: Nothing–Must..stop

I’m so fed up with my keyboard right now so bear with me. I’m fed up with a lot of things. This is going to be a long entry prolly. I really don’t know if I’m happy or not. I mean, yeah, a lot of the days were awesome of this break. Starting from last Friday I’ll list what went on, then after that will be me releasing my major feelings if you would like to read.

I’ve played DDR every single day. Double A’s on standard and one heavy song. Oh yeahh! =D
Friday: Went to the Wiccan store and Thai food with Deaglan. Twas fun, Thai food is awesome.
Saturday: Cousins house in Jersey. Hung out with people I’ve never met before. Eleven year old plays better bass than me. ><!
Sunday: Deaglan’s house. Mall. Circle. Incense. Fun =D!
Monday: Mall..with…um…Annie. Yeah that’s it. Then went to Woodrow Diner. Sorta boring, but okay.
Tuesday: Jersey mall with mom and sister. Goddess, my mom is so fucking annoying to shop with! It was like wtff! Got my prom dress [pictured below] and then went to Ash’s later and skateboarded and jammed acoustic. That was ok.
Wednesday: EDDY! Mlee. Yeah. Hung out with him and his friends at his friend’s [House] house. It was fun. Yep. *nodnod* I love him.
Thursday: City with dad and sis. Dojos. Smoochies. Annoying parents. Soo fucking annoying. But yeah it was ok.
Friday: Fun as hell. Gaming party at Jacky’s. DDR, other video games, mahjong, awesome food. Yeah. Hadn’t hung out with them in awhilie. Glad I did. Miss them all.
Today: OMG! Awesome times three. Haircut this morning. Eddy and friends. Haah. Got caught alone in a house ^^’ so stupid of us. But that was great. Then went to Danielle’s house. And had fun. And parents picked me up and I’m so dead. Cause first, I didn’t tell them where i was going [they wouldnt have let me anyway!] And second, I was driving with a guy they didn’t know. [Pete’s awesome though!]

Okay now with the more of feelings.

I don’t know. When I’m doing something, either I’m truly happy, or I’m acting that I don’t realize. But when i’m just left to myself, no matter where I am, I’m so like wtf and not wanting to be there. I’ve felt empty again lately. And sorta distant to those who I’d normally be close to. But I want new things, new people. I love you all but I’m bored! Every single day is the same.

No North Carolina btw! Fuckin’ parents…

Another thing on my mind: Eddy’s going away. [yeah i know you read this my darling (<–fun word) but I need to say this.] I’m gonna seriously miss him so fucking much. Yeah >.> Those who know me know I think about this quite often. Love will keep us together, right? Naivity [<–sp?] is good!! *bangs head against wall* Shoot me.

I wanna curl up into a little ball and go away. Once again I feel like the poem I wrote in the entry I wrote on the 12th. Lost and alone. I want to write. Happiness doesn’t last! Why?

In the last entry, all self confidence i’ve had is just gone. Yeah.

Cramps fucking suck.

Yeah I’m gone. Need to sleep soon, March of Dimes tomorrow. Bye.

-Saoirse

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