In A Galaxy Far Far Away

Just a quickie (giggity)

My phone the wonderful Samsung Galaxy S3 has broken and is currently being repaired or so I am led to believe. It is the first phone I have ever had to get repaired. It was charging really slowly, like 20% in 12 hours and after trying many different chargers, the battery died and so when I plugged it in to charge it wouldn’t draw enough to even start the charging cycle so I took it to the shop and deleted everybodies numbers. I don’t have anyone’s number on here? except Eve *waves* though after deleting all the numbers I no longer have Eve’s. Point being they didn’t have a replacement. So I am without a phone. No internet at my fingertips, no social media, no casual gaming, no texts, no phone calls, no emails, no human contact.

It’s been a week and I have to say that it has been awfully refreshing. I think we may all be a little to dependent on our mobile phones. I know I was. I was trying to help a friend through a bad breakup and that didn’t go very well well because Eve then got upset that I was spending all my time on the phone instead of giving her attention and then my friend was messaging non stop about how much she is drinking and contemplating doing silly things to get revenge so I was trying to sort all of that out and speak to my other friend Red, trying to reply to her email took a week! 

So my phone has gone and I have none of the issues around helping anybody through anything as I can’t get in touch with anyone. Except Eve as she is 15 yards away in bed not feeling very well and I should be there comforting her but I know that If I go in there she will be crabby because she is ill and then we can either cuddle or she will shout at me for fidgeting and disturbing her rather peaceful rest and with her throat, having her speak is not a good thing. Plus the Internet suggested rest, which we all know we didn’t need the Internet for that advice. So Eve is ill and resting. I have another bigger entry in work which I have been working on during my lunch times. It explains in depth more of what has gone on. Which I will post soon. In short:

I got a small pay rise in work which will be followed by 3 bigger pay rises over the next 13 months which will equate to a 40%+ pay rise overall. They’re staggering it. Which is fair enough but I like to think that I do a good enough job to pass the initial six months and get 3 stonking pay rises by November next year. Huzzah! Think of all the shiny camera equipment I can buy? Exactly. It’s going to work out at about £130 a month for 2 years and that is with a rather large deposit. However, though I won’t be making any money from the photography this time around, the alternative is buying games consoles but Eve won’t let me game when she is in the flat and I work longer hours than her because of work and travel, She does 8 and I do 8 hours 45 and stay longer at night and then have a 60 mile round trip a day so i’m out before Eve and back in after her so I can’t game anymore. Which surprisingly didn’t kill me. Heck once when I was much younger and still at home I had my consoles taken off me and within 2 months I had taken such a dip because I had lost my coping mechanism as I have depression. Fuck me, that was a rough 2 months. I think it was a combination of losing my coping mechanism and my parents putting so much pressure on me. I could not go out anywhere, I had no media or anything like that at home for leisure and I was getting all this pressure on top of being depressed so it really fucked me over. I got low, very low, very very low very quickly. So I thought losing my gaming privliages would be bad this time around but my coping mechanisms are a lot stronger this time around. Stronger, but not perfect. Truth be told i’ve had a very bad week despite it being so nice, my head has just been awful Really honestly awful. I’m terrified. Absolutely terrified.

So no gaming, the other option would be to buy my dream guitar but I don’t have an amp here and nobody to jam with so that is out of the question. The final option is the camera kit which I see as an investment as I used to disappear for a day or two with my camera bag and tripod and get a train to all kinds of places and just take photos. It was nice just me, gave me time to think and the camera gave me focus. I think i’m throwing so much money at it this time around to over compensate. I mean if I am in a fragile state of mind and I can’t get the shot that I want, i’m going to be pissed! So making sure I have a camera with all the bells and whistles will keep me entertained for much much longer. Photography is very relaxing. It also helps that I have been published by Apple no less *brushes shoulder* and a tonne of other things like Calendars, promotional materials even Suicide Girls and such. I was 20 then with a £400 camera. This time i’ll be 27 with £3500 worth of kit. I’m expecting a huge improvement. Plus it’s something I would like to teach a kid one day if I ever have any. I always remember a picture my Dad took hanging above the fireplace. It’s inspired me! 

Eve has been really lovely this week too, she is always lovely to be fair but her Mum went away and so we had the flat to ourselves and Eve cooked me a meal and we sat and we were going to watch the Titanic but instead Eve put on America’s next top model so we watched all of them and then we watched all of Bridal Plasty too and everyone was really bitchy and it was both horrible and slightly amusing to see people scheme about each other. Amusing in that really, it got nobody anywhere just like it should be in real life. I like to take an interest in the things Eve enjoys. There was no nagging, no fighting and much cuddling though my head was in a really deep, dark horrible place.

This has gone on more than I expected. I am going to go check on Eve. But a proper entry will follow. I’ve been missing OD. It’s my last sanctuary of thought. Putting it in black and white helps. Though I appreciate for you it is white on black which is a bugger to read. My bad.

Much Love

Broken, but still very much in the game

(S)aint x