The checks in the mail?

Well, I don’t know how I feel. I was angry, then anxious, then scared, now sad.  A Fed ex envelope came today while my husband was at work. I opened it like I would any package that came. To my shock he had taken money out of his 401k without telling me.  I called him and he proceeded to tell me his 401k is his, he NEVER needs to discuss it with me and that I have done nothing to EARN it. Because I had to go on disability.  He continued to tell me I have become the victim and cried on everyone’s shoulders about him. I am at a loss, why does he think that I even need to go around talking about him, why does he think so badly of me, why does he think so hateful of me.  I try to believe I am never perfect, I try to be a good person, but not perfect in any way. I have screwed up a lot, but am working on being better. But, he seems to say our entire marriage was terrible and it’s never been good because I am not a good person. I am sad, sick and lonely. I have no family here, my church family but not blood family, except my teens.  I thought I could make things happy, but I don’t know if I can help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Have you ever just wanted a hug so badly of security it hurts.  That’s me. But, when I ask him I do nothing but act like a victim and I am just sad.