Tuesday

It’s Tuesday here, and another wet, gray day with rain constantly falling outside my window. It has been raining off and on now, for weeks which is good on one hand because it’s a true wet season, which we have not had for a few years now in Queensland, but bad on the other hand because this kind of weather makes me want to hibernate. I must’ve been a bear in a past life. LOL!

I keep dreaming, lately, that my teeth are falling out. I suppose, with all the dental work I’ve had done recently that is just my subconscious processing. It’s not a pleasant dream though. So realistic, I can feel the teeth crumbling in my mouth and turning into gritty pieces. Eeiw! Dream analysis books tell me this is a dream of powerlessness, but I don’t really think that applies. I feel empowered actually in my waking life. Probably just my brain processing about the dentist.

Another recurrent theme in dreams atm is about looking for something to wear to some function or other. I’m going through my wardrobe, looking at, and then rejecting lots of different outfits, and in my desperation, also try looking in either my sister’s or my mother’s wardrobe. So far, I have not found the right outfit in these dreams.

I think this one is talking to me about how people perceive me…or how I present myself to people and my concern over this due to the recent breakdown of my social circle in waking life.

Maybe there is no perfect way to present myself? Maybe I just have to learn to be myself, and let people like me or not. I’ve known for long enough now that I am a square peg to everyone else’s round hole, anyway.

I’m happy to be a recluse and hang out with people online most of the time. I might just need to do things to get myself out of the house occasionally, even if it’s just to go read a magazine at the library or something.

I can, and have survived on minimal social contact for most of my life. It just gets to the point where if I am in the house too long I start to get a little stir crazy.

Anyway, enough rambling from me.