Fed up with Being Judged

I am not a happy bunny. Today I received another letter from the dentist following another cancelled appointment because of a migraine. This time it more or less implies that if this happens again without 24 hours notice I will not be able to stay on their list. I don’t think I cancelled an appointment with my last dentist in years. It’s just bad luck and the fact that my health has been more unpredictable lately.

It may come as a shock to the dental surgery, but I don’t want to be too ill to go and I don’t have 24 hours notice of when my migraines are coming. I know there are people who just forget or who cancel because of a frivolous reason, but I am not, and never have been one of those people, and I’m tired of being treated the same way as them.

It’s a sort of sore point with me. I’ve always been a sensible and dutiful person, even as a kid. I remember a time at school when the teacher left the classroom, and by the time she got back the kids were going wild. Not me, though. I was quietly getting on with my work, but I still got told to go to detention with the rest of them. I rebelled that time. I didn’t’ go. Then, when they rang my mum I got her to explain why. They said they couldn’t make exceptions with a class detention and I would have to go the next day, but I didn’t. I won that one as no one ever mentioned it again. I suppose it was a bit unreasonable to expect the teacher to notice the one child who wasn’t misbehaving. Or maybe, as my mum suggested, she did notice but thought I would get picked on by the other kids if she held me up as an example. All I learned was that there is no point in doing the right thing as people only notice when you do the wrong one.

And that’s how I feel now. Never mind all of those appointments I turned up for on time and the few that were cancelled well in advance. Never mind the fact that I suffer with a stress induced illness – partly made worse by the inadequacies of NHS treatment for my husband and daughter. Never mind the fact that treating me like this is not increasing my chances of turning up but decreasing them as the worry of being ill can make me ill. They have a policy. One size fits all. It’s the story of my life.