Why did Kander have to call?

Just that.. why?  I have gotten used to the idea that he was out of my life for good and now.. he’s back in connection again.  Really, why should I care after all that has been said and done? 

This has put me in a tizzy, more than I want or really realize.  So since that call I have been seriously down, the depression kicking my ass.  I am not admitting to a lot of things there.  I never said I didnt love him, I always will I would have never been his wife if that were not the truth.  I seriously do care but I dont want to know things that he said.  It was awkward at the end of the call, he told me he loved me.  All I could stammer out was a ‘you too’. 

So, after all that I went to sleep, got up this morning and helped mother at the Good Neighbor Center.  I can see why she enjoys it, its fairly social and something for the community.  I felt strange especially when the woman that runs the place asked if I wanted a break.  I ended up taking one to go get fluids for the volunteers.  And since the Adventists disagree with caffeine I kept to that.. nopt pretty really.

Saran is coming up tomorrow, I’ll talk with him about Kanders call.  Afraid to tell Blood or the MAdScientist.. thinking terms of drama.