Why
I am tired of bleeding for everyone else. To be everyone’s strength, and yet being alone to face each day with only myself for comfort. I only want to be loved by someone, anyone that would take these damaged goods. And yet I will still throw myself at ones that only see me as a cheap thrill their carnal lusts desire till only their cum is in my mouth. And those that would take me as I am will leave me; desolate me in words that are untrue to me but rightly their own thoughts. I love, I love deeply and no one sees it because I am just their cheap thrill, their discrete little whore to be left as soon as it is convenient. I am only trash and only fit to be pissed on or an excuse to piss off. Blood is supposed to wash away sins but it covers me in its stink. And yet I still drink of the founts that would defile me. All I do is destruct all I do is harm and yet no one will place me out of misery for the good of mankind.
I am a coward I cannot bring myself to the point of taking the bullet myself. Gods help me if I can gain that conviction it will be done as soon as I can muster the guts. I am the pariah, I am the one you hate why can you not just let me die, kill me it would be a favor to the world. I am nothing to you but statuary that needs to be torn asunder.
My death would benefit you all rid yourself of my vile life and me that you distain. Kill me and be in peace.
WHY
WHY
WHY
Why do you wait??
Because that isn’t so. Listen to me: I don’t know who you are. I haven’t gone to school with you, listened to your problems, or shared my own. I haven’t been your pal or your buddy, and hung out with you on Saturdays. But I can see that you are hurting. Badly. We all screw up. We all fall, and let someone pick us up who shouldn’t. And…
Warning Comment
…it is so hard to allow anything good in our life – especially when all we want to do is destroy ourselves. But believe me when I say that you have value. There is a purpose for you. If God wanted you dead – he would have done it by now. But he hasn’t. Because you’re meant to be here. It may be hard to see why right now, when life seems like such a complete shithole…
Warning Comment
…but there is a purpose for you. and for your existance. Life likes to slap us around a bit, doesn’t it? But don’t let it. Fight back. You are strong, you just can’t see it in yourself. But I see it. You didn’t end things on your own. And believe it or not – that’s strength. Sticking it out, going through another day of hell, not knowing where an end might be…
Warning Comment
…THAT is strength. And you are living strength each day. Have faith. The choice to take care of yourself – to not let things stay how they are – is not easy. But you can do it. Stand up for yourself. Fight back. It’s hard to see Him now – but God’s there. He won’t let you go. Just believe that your life is worth it… …worth His time… …worth my time… …and just live.
Warning Comment
your death would solve nothing. I can only say dittos to the above noter, who put it so eloquently. Hugs.
Warning Comment
Every day you wake up is another day to make right the things that are wrong in you life. No, it might not be perfect, but everything, EVERYTHING can be fixed somehow. The only exception is death. If you don’t wake to see another day, how will you ever know what you might have done or who you might have been? Please don’t give up. You have people who won’t give up on you. -hug-
Warning Comment