Fatalistic

Call my views fatalistic, but they are the truth for me at the moment, they may change in time.

I don’t believe in true love or love at first sight.  I never have and simply put most of the people that I know hat profess to believe in such are simpletons.  Love is a chemical reaction and love comes from a different area of the brain than lust.  Too many people equate sex with love, granted when you have a deep emotional involvement with a person it seems better but for the most part love at first sight is just a rush of dopamine in the brain and a flood of testosterone from the lymphatic system to make you sexually ready.  True love is just chemical again for the most part and that drops off after you get settled and all that happy stuff, you have to spice things up once in a while to keep said ‘true loves’ attention.

Speaking of the attention of ones ‘true love’ why would you have to spice things up if it were something that was seriously possible.  In the physical sense humans were never made for monogamy but have deified it for the sake of religion.  My guess is that some pope placed it there because he couldn’t get laid.  Even for the religious folks, where does it say that you should only be monogamous?  I don’t recall ever seeing that one.  It mentions adultery, fornication and having multiple wives.. when did this change?

Am I worth the adoration for some kind of permanent relationship?  Granted I feel better about myself and how I look than I have in years, but I have been taught a valuable lesson.  Take what you can when you can, be prepared to be second on another’s list, or even 10th but don’t ever think that you are number 1 in another’s life.  At least for me.  I enjoy the company I keep, the people I am slutty with at times or have been in the past and I will continue to do so, part of me will keep a reserve for myself and not get too attached emotionally.  Its just not worth it when they turn their back on you.  I hope those I keep with don’t, but the possibility is there.  I am not jealous of those my sluttiness goes to and as far as I am concerned they are responsible for their own happiness, if I am included then thats fine and dandy.  why should I even think that they should be at a different standard?

Granted, that if ever the time comes I think it is a comfortable enough situation to be relatively monogamous then well that is between me and that person.   I have been monogamous in the past, but the seed was always there that if I really wanted to screw around, all I need to do is ask.  I didn’t take advantage of it, or at all I should say, but at least I knew that I stood as the person to be coming home to.  That is all I ever asked.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.