Blah **Edited**

Why do I feel depressed tonight?

I dont know and here I am wanting to get stuff in the house done.  Got a lot of the kitchen mess cleaned up and out but then I ran out of gas.

My day off and only part of what I should have done..

Tomorrow after work and poker I will start again.

I just need help.

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As the night wears on I seem to be getting worse, I feel like doing bad things to myself but I have not succumbed to this point. 

Its nothing in particular, its nothing that cant be fixed or if I talked could not be made better.

Right now I just type and stare at the walls..

I want to be hugged so bad and told its okay and life is good. 

Right now I feel tears but I cant seem to cry, I am jumping at the least  sound and paranoid that someone is watching or out to get me. 

Perhaps a visit to the shrink?  Haha.. cant afford that