給馬來西亞的&#

 

 
    先送上一首我很喜歡的歌。
 
Pick up off the floor, Mika
 
There’s a girl, thought she knew,
What her life was going to do,
Then she goes, and falls in love
and throws it all away.

But her man, can’t decide,
If he’s made the right choice in life,
So she comes home on day to find he’s gone away.

Put your heart back in your pocket,
Pick your love up off the floor
When your momma says you’re stopping,
But girl, let me tell you more:
If he’s 95 or 22,
A boy’s gonna do what he’s gonna do,
He says he don’t love you anymore,
So pick up off the floor.

Walks around an empty town,
Sees his face coming around,
Every corner takes on a similar stay.

Love is lost, life can burn,
But your luck will return,
But if you’re dragging it down
you won’t know it’s there

Put your heart back in your pocket,
Pick your love up off the floor
When your momma says you’re stopping,
But girl, let me tell you more:
If he’s 95 or 22,
A boy’s gonna do what he’s gonna do,
He says he don’t love you anymore,
So pick up off the floor.
 
    在上班前的列車裡開始想著該如何寫這封信,很多不同的字句在腦海中亂舞,但待這刻對著電腦,又甚麼也想不起來。
    這是首我很喜歡的歌,有機會試著聽一聽,我很喜歡很旋律,帶點哀傷。
    對實在的事情沒有甚麼好說,情感的分擔也未必做得來,但聆聽者的角色我總是做得好,到處去玩耍也算是個好的玩伴。
    如果這是個遊戲,一定要分勝負的話,可以算是輸了。但如果人生不過是場遊戲,又定要計得失的話,怎麼都算是賺透了,在自己的情感波折上、人生經歷上,還有availability上。
    不計得失勝負,純粹讓自己被悲哀的情感淹沒,如果相信否極泰來,明天太陽還是會掛起來。
    心中的落寞總少不了,這個時候我會拾起村上春樹和酒杯,將自己從哀痛的海裡抽出來,丟進迷糊的世界裡。不過大概這不算是個好的coping method,因為怎麼看有病的都是我。
    最後,送上永澤的忠告:「不要同情自己,同情自己是卑劣的人做的事。」
 

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