things I don’t want to forget

I don’t have time or the energy for a full post, but there’s something Eric said this week that I really don’t want to forget.

This is the first time he’s made the choice, without outside influence, without the pressure of feeling “forced” due to other situations, to live with someone. He’s choosing to move forward with this relationship entirely because he wants to and not because he has to.

WOW.

I have never been in that situation. Did Matt and I ever “justify” some of the steps forward that we made because it ALSO made sense and was a matter of convenience or financial smartness, sure. But I have never been in the situations he’s been in. I feel fortunate. I also feel good knowing that he is feeling so joyful and free and happy about this next step.

When he was dating Jess, she found out she was (they were) pregnant. He chose to stay, even thought the relationship was already falling apart, to make things work for his kids. And there are numerous other examples with Jess where he did this.

When he left Jess for Jen, he was broke. Beyond broke. In debt. Trying to go back to school to finish his degree. He’d just left a career, on not the best terms. He didn’t have any solid footing. Jen was some security for him. He wouldn’t have been able to (at least as well) pay for his own housing, pay off all his debt, support his kids, finish school without any debt, get his masters without any debt, and on to starting his next career.

When he left Jen he was finally secure on his own. Living alone. Doing his thing. Dating Leslie. And found out unexpectedly he had 30-days to leave his apartment. Leslie invited him to move in, and despite not being ready – he went for the easy option.

Now, he has his own home. No debt. Job security. Making good money. He doesn’t need someone like he has before and he has no entanglements or obligations to me to make things work. We just do.