The Ache Of Nostalgia

I haven’t written here in a long while.  And when OD first came back, I was excited about its resurrection.  I wanted to write here again, maybe even revisit some older posts and offer updates on some of the key players in my life.  But then the world changed. The political climate soured everything around me, including what fondness for my past I may have been carrying around.  When OD died, I entertained taking my diary and crafting it into a memoir of some kind.  Now it hurts to even entertain that notion.  I honestly don’t know what to do with that chunk of my life now.

All of this stems from the intolerance of the current White House Administration.  I don’t know how or why it happened, but it seems that a great portion of my little New England hometown has swung to the Right.  They embrace our current “president”  with no questions asked and no explanation given.  They parrot the daily soundbites and give free passes to behavior that would have sunk any other president.  I honestly don’t understand it.  And I foolishly thought my longest running friendships could withstand the constant barrage of intolerance and stupidity, but I guess I was wrong.  One guy I’ve known for nearly forty years flat out un-friended me in all aspects of life when I mocked a Trump supporter who got his ass kicked by Mike Ness of Social Distortion.  I started that particular Facebook post with a statement along the lines of “I don’t condone violence, but if you’re going to heckle somebody, maybe it shouldn’t be the musician who boxes in his spare time.”  But this friend didn’t care about what I did or didn’t condone.  He’s one of these people whole believes the Democrats–all Democrats–are evil and want to watch the world burn.  So, of course, I’m part of the conspiracy to overthrow the president and I needed to go.

In recent weeks, I’ve had another friend I’ve known just as long even quote Hitler in the wake of the George Floyd protests.  I mean…I got where he was coming from.  He sees democracy, and his country, slipping away into riots and chaos under Democratic leadership.  But Hitler, man?  Hitler is suddenly a great wise man when it comes to democracy?  The guy that killed and tortured millions of people?  He’s the guy you’re going to quote?  I honestly didn’t know how to react to that.  So in a sternly worded private message I basically told him we can either disengage the political talk or we could disengage the friendship because he and I were definitely at a crossroads with our friendship.  So far there’s been nothing but radio silence from him.

I know it’s easy for people to say you shouldn’t let politics interfere with friendships.  But what if those politics fly in the face of everything you believe?  What if those politics fly in the face of tolerance and decency towards other people?  Do you let things slide or do you draw a line in the sand?  I often ask myself would these people be my friends if I met them now.  Would I want them in my life?  And the answer always comes up as no.  No, I would not want them in my life.  So this is the thing I’m wrestling with.  How do you write about the people in your past when you don’t respect then in the present? How do you embrace the nostalgia when it hurts to do so?