Irrational, Irregular

Here we are again Ruby, alone.

How are you feeling about that?

–"Do we have to talk about this…feelings?"

Yes that’s why we are here.

–"Well I feel fine, like I always do"

You’ve been through a lot the past few days.

So I understand if you are feeling conflicted or saddened.

–"Being dead inside is safer remember"

–"That was our only rule"

Yes, we are one, I know everything you are feeling.

The point of this is for you to talk about it, so non of it stays inside.

–"There is no point, you are always trying to make me talk!"

–"We both know by now that it doesn’t help"

–"Why wont you learn!"

–"It’s not allowed to hurt…I wont let it…and you know you can’t stop me"

–"I’ve always been stronger than you"

So, after all the progress we’ve made, you are telling me that you want to go back? Is that it?

–"I can go back anytime I want, that’s never going to change"

–"It’s not as fixable as one might think"

Do you really believe that Ruby?

–"Yes I do, I’ve always been around, ever since we were little"

–"No one gave me a name until I was strong enough to show myself……But I was always there"

–"I wont die and leave you completely alone"

–"No matter how dead you become inside"

–"The heart still beats, the mind never stops"

Yet we are always a little dead.

–"That’s right"

So why be afraid of  learning to feel what you need to feel?

I want you to love who ever you need to love.

It’s good for the both of us and many others that will cross our path.

–"Maybe so……But you know how to fake it, you learned very quickly"

Yes, but some people in our world deserve to see the real feelings we hide.

It’s takes you a long time to trust them, I know that well.

–"Yes and you trust too easily"

–"You always come running back to be saved form all the damage that’s been done"

That’s what I’m trying to fix Ruby.

–"Why must you fix everything?"

–"Can’t you just embrace who you are…who we are…we are one…we are unique"

Ruby, I am not the enemy…I won’t fix something that isn’t broken.

I am just trying to understand.

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