suite

cross-post at prosebox.   fyi.

i’m staying at the allerton hotel in chicago.  it’s nice enough, i’m pretty happy with the choice considering our client on this project put us on a VERY strict per diem and had a pretty low ceiling for our hotel rates.   my room is a huge corner suite, and i don’t believe it’s an upgrade or anything.  i think the rooms here are just very big.  and it’s nice.   i was in the living room area and just adjourned to the boudoir and i’m having a chilled glass of white wine before i retire for the evening.
 
i’m coming off of a long "week," one that started last monday with focus groups in los angeles, then focus groups in dallas, and finished up here in chicago tonight with our last round of groups.  next, i go into report mode and start piecing together my thoughts on why i think 8-14 year olds aren’t wearing their seatbelts.  more importantly, i’ll be weighing in on their parents’ perspective and how that ultimately impacts their kids.  it’s interesting, and important.
 
today we put the final touches on a proposal for a high end luxury car company selling how we will recruit "high net worth" individuals and convince them to take us for joyrides in their luxury autos while simultaneoulsy spilling the beans about their motivations, hopes and dreams.   fingers crosed that we win this project- it would be a huge win for our company and all the team we’ve assembled to work on it.
 
during the breaks between today’s marathon of focus groups, i peeked in on pictures of joaquin wearing his brand new bike helmet, positioned adorably on the back of his papa’s brand new bicycle.   there were new videos of him WALKING around the house, getting into trouble and generally being the cutest thing ever.   my mommy guilt twinges everytime a new video appears on my phone, everytime a new picture shows up on the photo stream or a new comment comes through regarding his daytime and nighttime rituals that i’m not a part of today.
 
but then i remember it’s temporary, i’ll be there tomorrow afternoon to feed him lunch; i’ll be there to play with him in our new yard; i’ll be there to push him in the swing at our favorite new park, and most importantly, i will be there to nurse him to sleep and feel the weight of his sturdy little body in my arms before i place him in his crib for the night.
 
i won’t have to worry about travel for at least four weeks; and for this i’m grateful.   but i’m also grateful if and when i do have the opportunity to travel again.  because it means i’m working and making money to continue to keep a beautiful roof over our heads.  the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks, and i’m lucky, i think.
 
joaquin is a special human being.   he’s thoughtful and sweet, determined and outspoken.  he’s deliberate yet introspective.  and his growth is a beautiful thing to participate in and observe.  i marvel at the way he absorbs information and i am consistently excited to see how he applies his new knowledge. i struggle with discipline because my gut tells me he understands, but i feel like sometimes he’s still too young to hear harsh words.   he’s so smart;  i think.   and i want to honor his intelligence, but i also think he’s growing too fast.  i need to be in the moment.  i remind myself of this.   but then i look back and wonder how it all went so fast.   it all goes so fast, now.
 
so here i come to write.  because if i don’t, i lose these thoughts and observations and i miss the opportunity to preserve them for future reflection.  and this is important.  so i tell myself i’ll be better.    i owe it to my future self.
 
so right now; here are some things:
 
– joaquin has been walking for over two weeks now.  he stops and starts, but he’s gained so much confidence and i see it sparking some new level of excitement in him that i haven’t ever seen.  it’s stunning
– he loves being outside; so, so much.   he likes spraying the hose to "water" the plants and the dog.  he loves sitting on the front steps watching the world go by. he likes playing in the dirt, sand – anything that gets him dirty it seems.
– he enjoys waving to everyone, and he really likes engaging strangers at the grocery store
– he started going to daycare at the gym and is learning to be away from us with strangers for longer periods of time.   some days, he doesn’t want to leave my arms and it’s heart-breaking; but i watch him on the treadmill-monitor and minutes after i leave him, it’s all fun & games
– he’s learning how to put things together (legos, building blocks), but he still prefers to JOAQUIN-SMASH!
– he’s obsessed (still) with toothbrushes.   he definitely gets that from me
– he loves dancing, especially to songs like B-I-N-G-O and Old McDonald.  
– he also loves the alphabet song, and sometimes i use it to calm him on the changing table since he..
– hates getting his diaper changed.   with a passion.  
– but he still loves bath time and has increased his tub time to nearly 35 minutes, on average.  he’s very pruney when he gets out each night.  it’s adorbs.
– he loves to feed himself "big" food and always wants bites of our stuff vs. his own.   we started "letting" him feed himself with a spoon & a bowl, and he’s pretty good.  needs a lot of practice, though
 
ahhh there’s so much more, but it’s midnight and i have to be up so early for my flight tomorrow.  
 
i’ll leave with this; i feel blessed and lucky on a daily basis.  i feel stressed and overwhelmed a lot too.  but ultimatey, aaron and i crafted this life for ourselves.  and we are loving it so much.   
 
pictures?   ok.

joaquin hugging camus. 

smiley guy in the car

joaquin’s first black eye / awesome necktie bib

just glee. 

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who is this BOY? 

this happened at target with aaron’s sister the other day 

joaquin "likes" his new helmet