FXck that guy.

SO WEIRD to be back here.  I don’t know how I feel about it… yet.

ANYWAY.

I spent a good part of my day today expending mass quantities of energy thinking about, fighting about, crying about and feeling overwhelmed by this latest terrible display of humanity in Parkland.

I started a fight with Aaron’s cousin and subsequently was called a bitch by him (because aggressive /passionate female = bitch), and I subsequently unfriended him (which I’ve been DYING to do for over a year, tbh) and then was subjected to more drivel from him about the aforementioned fight via Messenger. Fuck that GUNS ARE GOD and WITHOUT GUNS WE CANNOT GUARANTEE OUR RIGHTS guy, man. Fuck that guy.

PLEASE note: I have many friends that are responsible gun owners. They GET it. They understand COMMON SENSE GUN REFORM. I respect these people. I respect their right to hunt food that feeds their family and friends, and I respect their right to protect their homes. I GET IT.

It’s the person that says unequivocally that ”guns aren’t the problem, it’s people that are the problem” that I can’t fucking stand. Because without guns, these fucking trash human beings would NOT be EMBOLDENED and EMPOWERED to do what they are doing. Without the glamorization / glorification / sensationalization of these terrible events, they wouldn’t be INSPIRED to do what they do.

I get it, I do. Society is to blame. I agree, we need to change how we value human life. We can’t at the same time glorify violence in entertainment and then also act shocked when people act it out.

I get it, I do. Mental health is a severe issue. We need to address mental health, isolation, loneliness, depression, lack of support. We need to do something about this.

BUT WITHOUT ASSAULT WEAPONS PEOPLE WOULD NOT HAVE DEVASTATING WOUNDS FROM WHICH THEY CANNOT RECOVER. GUNS DO THAT! People don’t do that alone. They need GUNS to make it happen. And yes, people can ram a truck into a large crowd of people and do a lot of damage. And yes, explosives can also have the same effect. And even knives and lesser weapons can do a lot of harm.

BUT I will say it again: the combination of EMPOWERMENT that comes from shooting coupled with the desire to be INFAMOUS creates a different dynamic wherein assault rifles ARE the weapon of choice. Please, try to refute this. Because the evidence is ABUNDANTLY clear. The pattern is clear. Cause the most amount of damage as quickly as possible; Go down in a blaze of glory, OR escape death so you can revel in your accomplishment.

Guys. GUNS are the common denominator. They just are. So why can’t we at LEAST TRY to do something to make access to these devastating weapons of mass destruction more difficult? WHY????

I really just wanted to log HOW I FEEL because I want to remember HOW ANGRY I AM and I want to come back and revisit this every time I get complacent. I can’t handle it- the idea of people that shouldn’t have guns, having them, and time after time nothing is being done about it.

I hugged my kids so much, I stared at them and breathed them in. I’m so fucking lucky I don’t have to plan a funeral today. I’m so fucking mad that 17 families do.