calgon. take me awaaaaay.

i’m just so very, very tired these days.   i’m officially back to work and it’s been 10 days since this project started and my brains are melllltingggg.     joaquin has had extremely erratic sleep performance (such a word to describe sleep!  performance!)  and as such, i am a sleep-deprived monster at the moment.  i spent most of my morning since 5a alternating between deep breaths and sobs trying to reconcile the fact that i can’t fall back asleep when he does even though i’m so severely tired.   it’s really kind of an epic mindf*ck.    and of course, just as i am drifting off finally (FINALLY!)  he starts to stir.   and in the morning, it’s quite adorable when he wakes up for the first time.  he talks in a sing-songy voice and he has SO MUCH TO SAY!   and when i go in to release him from his swaddle, his little arms jut out and wave around with the sentiment of FREEEDOM!    

and he’s just so freaking cute, that guy.   

but TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE at sleeping with any sort of consistency.

so the project i’m working on now will end early next week then i may have a bit of a break in the action before i go into the field the week of 2/18 and 2/25.    aaron and i will BOTH be going to new york (and new jersey) Feb 26th – March 1st, so Joaquin will be staying with my mother-in-law.    i think it’s going to be super hard to be away from him for three whole days. (but can i tell ya that i can’t WAIT to sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time?   That is, assuming i don’t wake up frantically searching for the baby every few hours.     gah.)

in very exciting news, aaron booked a guest star role on a pilot and it will film this week and next.  it’s the first thing he’s booked since.. 2011… so this is very, very good.    he did work a ton last year for my company and he also had residuals rolling in, so he made a nice chunk of change.   but it was very strange that he didn’t book a single acting job in all of 2012.   very strange indeed.   but also, we had a baby!   so … yeah.   i’m very happy about this development.   he’s been auditioning a ton, and getting great feedback, so 2013 is already off to a wonderful start for him (and us!)

in other adult-related news:  it’s been quite some time since we had a date night (I think maybe when we saw Les Mis, which was right after christmas!) and we are severely overdue.    we’ve been cashing in babysitting hours with my MIL for work and going-to-the-gym related items.  it’s high time we had some adult alone time.    wherein maybe we would just sleep.   both of us.  for many hours.

sigh.

it would be awesome to just have one complete day off, but alas, due to the nature of breastfeeding, that likely won’t happen for quite some time.    mostly, things are good.  but in my pre-coffee sleep-deprived state this morning, all i can think about is sweet sleep.   and how little of it i get.   

back to it, i go.   happy monday, bitches.