Giving up…..
What do you do when you want to give up? Not just on life but on just everything going on in your life. My son is being so disrespectful and just hurtful. He’s 15 years old and I know he’s going through the hormones or whatever but when you have given up your whole life to be a good mom and to give him everything it’s still very hurtful. I am torn. I know I can call and have him taken out of my home. I know the steps. I feel like I need to do that because we need separation. But I also know that the virus out there will put him at risk if I put him in a foster home right now because he does have a vulnerable immune system. But I can’t, no I won’t, put up with this. I think he actually called me a whore today. I’m almost positive he did. But as soon as I got in his face about it he backed out and just went silent. I have given this boy everything. I think that’s what post me off the most. Like I have literally given him everything. Most single moms struggle, but we never struggled. The best home, the best activities, the best trips. The best education opportunities. I traveled with him and gave him opportunities that I didn’t have. I spent time with him, I supported him, I cheered for him. Like I feel like I did everything. Was I a perfect mom? No. I made my mistakes. And when I made those mistakes I made sure I apologized. We had a great relationship but these last few months have been very hard. I know I am so upset because it’s not just this thing with him. I am also really missing my dad and that has been a pain in my heart and my head every day I wake up, every day that I breathe, It’s not even that I won’t do this anymore….I just can’t. I want to go to my room, close my door and never come out. Ever. My whole life has been spending pleasing other people. Trying to be the best that I can. From 25-40 I have spent that time being a mom. Nothing else mattered. Not building relationships or friendships. Not alone time, not pursuing different things. When I became a mom everything stopped and I cultivated nothing for myself. and now the person that I have given it all up for has decided to kick me in the face. And I have to be the adult so I cant kick back.
Sorry to hear your going thru the teen years unappreciated. My step daughter at the age of 12 would come into the kitchen and whisper so her father wouldn’t hear “you bitch” while I was doing the dishes. I felt betrayed because I had raised the girl since she was 4 yrs old and given her the extra things she needed.
Warning Comment
When I want to give up I purposely go put myself in a situation where others have it worse than me, and I assess what I have that they don’t, and thus what that can get me and I make a plan on how to get it. The last time this meant a hospital ward with terminal children. I don’t think I need to tell you the rest… but here I am today, having walked away from having given up 🙂
Have you checked with a therapist? (For you, not for your kid – and I say this because it might help implement things to do to curb his behavior). If it’s REALLY rough, *I* personally would consider calling the cops and asking them if there’s any chance that an officer comes to talk to my kid very sternly… no arrests or anything, of course. Right now you can’t be his friend, you have to be his MOM, and even if it hurts you to be tough, maybe it’s what he needs. It feels like right now, trying to please him by not being tough is only going to backfire.
Warning Comment
We create them because we are strong enough to raise them. I’m going through the same thing with my 14 year old, but you know what? Go somewhere private, have a good cry (have a shot of something if you must) theb pick yourself up and keep pushing ahead. We tend to forget about the joy they bring us because they can make our lives a living hell… Once is a while, my son will just come give me a random hug. Those moments make it all worthwhile. 🤗
Warning Comment
Teens are hard to deal with I know I have one. My daughter is 14. They are emotional as well as trying to feel out themselves and full of attitude. Perhaps he is acting out as well. Just remember just because he does bad things dont mean your a bad mom. Don’t beat yourself up over it and you should definately take some me time for yourself.
Warning Comment