1st Entry

Personal Log 1520.122722

It has been a long time since I have done any kind of writing. I have always been told I have a way with words, but also at times philosophical I think. But lets be honest that probably just me being bias. I dont know what made me go looking for some kind of outlet that I could use to talk or ramble about things that is just going on in this not so pretty head of mine, but hey, I guess I need to get somethings off my chest or just some where to put down thoughts. Any how it has been a while since I have done this, I cant remember the last time I just sat and journaled. Just like I used to sit in my closet as a teenager and write stupid little poetry type stuff. My mom said I had a talent for it but lets face it no one really reads things like that any more. I mean I was going to sit and write a fantasy novel, lol yeah I didnt make it past the first chapter or so I think. As a matter of fact I havent even powered on that computer.

Any how here lately I have just been thinking about a variety of things, mostly about my faith, and where I stand, and what I should be doing differently than what I am now. Christmas was just a couple of days ago, and I had a nice quite Christmas with my wife and her mom. I am actually glad her mom was with us this year for Christmas considering she lost her husband this year. Which now that I think about it, it didnt seem to affect her all that much. I would normally worry but if there is one thing I have learned about my wifes family is, dont. They dont like to talk about much of anything. Just trying to get my wife to open up to me is like pulling hens teeth sometimes. You know I was just mentioning something like that or along those lines just earlier to one of my coworkers. About how people tend to lie more so than just tell the truth. But then again in todays society who wants to hear the truth about things anymore of if they do they get offended by it, which honestly I dont know if that makes any sense at all or not. I mean you tell someone the truth which is what they ask for then they get mad at ya for doing it because it “hurt their feelings.” Well the truth hurts sometimes. Then you have those that just straight up lie about whats going on instead of telling the truth of whats going on. We all are guilty of that one. Having a shit day get asked hows it going, “Oh its going great”, Liar. Why do people build up walls? Honestly why? We say its to protect ourselves from getting hurt but who are we truly hurting? Something I am having to work through with my own wife is breaking through those barriers, cause as she puts it, she keeps me at arms length so she dont get hurt. Ok wait, we are married, should be able to trust each other with anything and everything, granted I have made my fair share of mistakes, I know I’m not perfect, but your keeping me at arms length so you dont get hurt, but yet we are married? (Head Scratcher) Why? I dont know, thats why Mathew West’s Truth Be Told rings pretty loud with me. (It is a Christian song if you go look it up just so you know). Well this day is coming to an end so time to head out.