apology/my current thoughts

my dad apologized to me tonight and I guess I forgave him. but deep down I didn’t. I got high today and yesterday and it made me feel so much better. it was just what I needed. I only “forgave” him because I need a car from him. I need him to buy me a car before I go off to college. so im happy the tension is at least gone. but still fuck him til its backwards im still sore from the fight. this fight made me realize one thing though. I am so done tip toeing around him. im going to live my life how I please and if he doesn’t like it.. well he can kick me out. im going to live out my freshman year of college. im going to hoe out and get a rose tattoo that I really want. after my freshmen year im in a nursing program so I have to focus on school. my last year to actually enjoy is my freshmen year so im for sure making the most of it.