I’ll teach him a Lesson (with a capital ‘L’)

Darts, and the men throwing them, are on the TV a lot at the moment. To me, darts is a pub game or an activity I use to trick my students into doing some mental arithmetic. But not to son! To him, darts is a spectator sport equal to the Grand Prix, or Wimbledon, or whatever happens to be in the news at the moment.

Unfortunately, darts is a lot more accessible than motor racing; so using his recently acquired debit card and temporary enthusiasm, he bought himself a dart board, cabinet and darts. Not a mention to me until after the packages arrived. Not a thought about the random pattern of holes that would grow on his bedroom wall. Not a consideration about how he would put this (heavy) thing on the wall in the first place. My drill is broken and although I would get a new one if I needed it, I don’t consider this a “need” for which I should buy a new drill.

First thing I said to him was, “No way! You can send it back.” His response to that was to ignore me, probably thinking I’d calm down and come round. And yes, he was kind of right, I did mellow from the black and white “send it back” to giving him another option. Option 2 is to pay for a covering to be put up on the wall, for it to be painted and for the dart board cabinet to be fixed on to that. He went for that option; I knew he would, as male pride was oozing out of him like treacle and there was no way he’d admit to having made a mistake by ordering something without thinking it through.

He hasn’t really got a clue how much this sort of thing costs, although I’ve warned him that professional carpenters charge an arm and a leg. So Diane’s partner, Ralph (who is luckily a carpenter) is going to come round and give son a proper estimate at the full going rate for supply and fit. Only AFTER son has agreed this AND paid for it out of his own money, will Ralph do the work. Then after that, he’ll give him a surprise “friends” discount refund. If son is not willing to pay the full whack for the work, accepting the consequences, it won’t get put up. Simple as that.

Teach him not to think, won’t it?

Jaiyen

Cruel lesson in reality! But then we’ve all been there, haven’t we: bought something and not really thought it through. Darts is pretty boring after a while if you’re not with your mates, so he might go off the idea anyway after a while.

IpsoFacto

January 8, 2009

well, as an unbiased observer and been there done that Mom with now grown 30 year olds, I’d say spending his money on a dart board rather than pot or internet porn or some silly twit of a girl might not be a bad thing BUT, he definately should have asked first. I think Ralph should give him the final price upfront (after you and son have had a heart to heart) why play games with an immature mind?

Undefined

I like your style 🙂 RYN: Yes, she does kisses – I had forgotten to mention that… she grabs my/Sam’s face with both hands and pulls towards her whilst saying ‘aaah’. Very cute but probably icky to anyone unrelated to her 🙂

Only sujema

I ought to have had my son pay for the soundproofing of the basement – where he practiced his drums! (That his father, my ex, gave to him, and decided he could keep at my house! – Thanks, dear!) I have the most tolerant, wonderful neighbors! That’s all I can say.

FallingDog

There’s nothing like an 18-year-old boy, is there.

Miss Creation

Darts…yuck. Hope you don’t get lots of teeny tiny holes in the wall!

Thanks for the advice – always good to get other view points. I agree, it is all second hand stuff…

ryn: ewch, you just made me very glad for chicken soup. 🙂

~Desiderata~

I think that’s reasonable, especially since he’ll get a refund of some of it. it teaches him responsibility but yet still grants him some leniency if he proves himself responsible.

🙂 well, is fair enough. My father always agreed to my brother and I having a motorbike. The only condition he insisted on was that we had full leatherwear including gloves and boots. When we worked out the cost we realised we could get a car for the same price. Funny really that neither of us ever got a bike. Even at 35 when I mull over getting one with hubby, I now insist that we havethe FULL protective kit. Nothing less will do. 🙂

I like it!

Icklewriter

I need lessons in your type of resolve. If that was me, I’d be forking out for the materials, fixings, the lot. And complaining loudly. But kid would get what kid wants, because I’m a soft touch.

January 9, 2009

ryn: your note made me giggle. I keep forgetting that I speak American and not English…an RV Park is a caravan park, but different than the UK and on the continent. We hook or caravans up to sewers, have cable tv most places and so on.

Fred

January 11, 2009

my brothers had a dart board in their room. i like the idea of the lesson about consequences, but in my experience, even if you’re not so great at hitting the board you’ll rarely throw the darts hard enough to actually make any mark on the wall around it. we now have a board in our back yard (exactly the same situation with my fiance when he bought that home: “and WHERE exactly are you planningto put THAT?” and there’s no indication of any dart markings around the board.

Schwulerin

January 16, 2009

Tragically, no. When I was as self serving at his age, paying to install a dart board wasn’t enough of an inconvience to turn me around. He’ll step up when he has to, but not a day before.