feeling down

Hi to anyone who reads my diary ,

I am feeling alittle down and I have been feeling this way for awhile ,

the other night my wife and I were sitting outside and we were talking about stuff and she said sorry to me about not being too affectionate and I told her that it was ok and I told her that what bothers me is when I tell her im happy with her and how I love being with her and that I think we will be together forever and she does not say much .

well she replyed to me that she is not sure we will be together forever and I asked why she felt that way and she told me that I am not supportive of her being a singer and trying out on amer idol – I told her I am supportive and I want her to try out but I do not want to see her get hurt if it doesn’t go well .

she also told me that she gets upset when she says somthing about going out with her friend to see a band thats in another part of the state and I say im not too thrilled about it – I never tell her that I don’t want her to  go but I do tell her that I worry about her going because I am afriad somthing is going to happen to her – I worry because when they go to another part of the state they don’t know the area and or anyone thats around there and I am afraid that they could get robbed or worse , I grew up in a really big city and I read about people being robbed raped and killed and I really worry that one or all of these things could happen to my wife and her friend because people can tell when your a stranger to the area and their are people who look for an easy target and when you are not familiar with an area it makes you an easy target .

I told my wife that I would try to relax and not worry about her going out with her friend and she said that it would help .

what is really bothering me is that I am doing my best to be A good husband and just when I think everything is great with us it seems that my wife doesn’t feel the same – it is like she is happy but she is not sure if she will be happy in the future and that really bothers me because I really love and care about her and im worried that no matter how hard I try it is not going to be enough , so I am talking one day at A time and trying not to worry about our future .