FUNNY NOTE

I’ve told stories about my never ending dealings with gay men, I have no problem with gay folks, its a free country and you can do whoever you want, but sometimes you get a gay man that just doesn’t get the hint. In 1999 while I was working as a guard for KANSAS CITY POWER AND LIGHT one of my jobs was to walk people out to there cars to make sure nobody would mess with them, it was easy(except in the winter)all I had to do was stand there and watch them get into there cars………..easy, well one day while I was outside doing this job, a man was coming up the street, he was about in his 40s, tall guy, bald head, white dude, I paid him no mind, that is until he past me……………and slapped me on my ass……..who’s to say I was not happy about that, so I yell out “HEY MAN, WHAT THE BIG DAM DEAL?” but like I said before, he was pretty dam tall, about 6’7 I think, and he was not small anywhere, so he walks up to me, I’m holding my ground and looking for places to hit this guy just in case this went south, so he tells me” WELL WITH THAT LOVE BOAT UNIFORM ON I THOUGHT YOU WAS TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION, AND YOU DID”…………love boat???? really man, so I told him” THIS IS MY WORK UNIFORM AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD KEEP YOU DAM HANDS TO YOURSELF SIR” so he leans down, looked me in the eye and tells me” WELL IM SORRY SUGAR, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WEAR SOMETHING ALITTLE LESS……..REVEALING THEN” now I’m mad, if you ever seen BAD BOYS with MARTIN LAWRENCE AND WILL SMITH, you probably will remember the part where martin was cussing out that tall man, JOHN SALLEY………well I did the same dam thing to this guy, I got up all in his grill and told him” LOOK STRETCH, DONT MAKE ME KNOCK YOUR OAKTREE ASS THE HELL OUT OK, I DONT GIVE A DAM IF YOU DO LOOK LIKE WILT CHAMBERLIN, IF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY ASS AGAIN, YOUR COMING BACK WITH A NUMB, GOT IT???” he laughed at me and tried to slap my ass again, so I grabbed his arm………..and it took everything in me to stop him from doing it again, that asshole. By this time my boss comes out wondering what was going on, so told him this skyscraper slapped my ass…………my boss started laughing at me, but he told the guy that he would call the cops if he didn’t go about his business, so he left, but as he was walking away…..he winked at me, god I wanted to KICK HIS ASS JUST ONCE. A few days go by, my head manager comes in and wanted to talk to me about the ass slap incident, so I told them what happen, they wrote it down, an my manager asked me “ROBERT, I GOT TO ASK THIS AND YOU CAN BE TRUTHFUL WITH ME OK, ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GAY?” I was shocked they even asked me that, so I said “HELL NO, I JUST ATTRACT GAY MEN LIKE FLYS THAT ALL” so my manager tells me” WELL THE GANETLEMEN CALLED AND SAID HE DIDNT MEAN TO…..SMACK YOUR ASS, BUT YOU WAS TOO CUTE TO NOT DO IT”…..I couldn’t believe it, so long story short for that next few days I didn’t walk anybody outside, my boss did it, because my manager said and I quote……..THEY DIDNT WANT EYECANDY OUTSIDE BECAUSE THEY WILL WOULD BE SLAPPED WITH A LAWSUIT………yeah, stupid right??? me? eyecandy??? that like saying MIKE TYSON is a gentle man…………SO SAY WE ALL.(THERE’S NO EYECANDY IN SECURITY WORK)