DEAR MOMMA

HELLO FELLOW OPers……….There a hard fact to face sometimes………..your parents will not be around forever, they will get old, they will lose things, and they will be cranky, anger, or just lost………..and that in a nutshell is what my mother is right now. She turned 81 in September, she been in and out the hospital since 2015, she has early stages of emphysema from all the years of smoking, her knees are bad, and I just found out yesterday that she has early stages of dementia………………..my mother is very stubborn( which is where i get mines), she has lived in the same senior living apartment for 13 years, top floor, but its not like it was 13 years ago, it has really gone down hill, yet she says she doesn’t want to go anywhere else. I call her every Thursday like clockwork, and i always get the same conversation…………..I’M LONELY, I’M DEPRESSED, I WANT TO DIE, NOBODY GIVES A S**T, YOU NEED TO COME AND SEE ME……..in the 7 years I’ve been in NEBRASKA, I’ve visited K.C. at least 8 times, and no matter how many times i invited my family to visit here, only 1 did…………my brother, a week before he went to south Korea 5 years ago, which hurts me too. She not the woman she was 22 years ago, all of her old friends are dead now, both her ex husbands are dead, her baby brother (my uncle) has been gone for 19 years( and she still mourning him like it was yesterday), I have never said this out loud, probably because my sisters and brother might kill me, but i don’t see my mother being alive in 2 years…………….I see it coming like a train, its on my mind 24/7, 365, she has given up, and she not even done living yet………………………………………..I don’t know how you all are with your parents, but take it from me, hating, fighting, or not seeing your parent, really does a number on them, and even thou you may hate the idea……….your still there kids, and they will love if you paid attention to them, before its too late…………….pray for my mother, and my family………………….SO SAY WE ALL.