Current situation

So, leme tell y’all about this current jacked up situation I find myself in right now.  I have been sick since 2016 but I lost my insurance and doctors could never figure out what it was.  I also met my current ex in 2016 and at first everything was great.  It seemed all my medical issues had went away but I had already lost both my jobs from missing to many days.  He had just got out of prison like for real the day before and came to my house then just never left.  So maybe it was a toxic relationship from the jump and I was to blind by what I thought was love to see that because it only took 2 weeks for him to say it first and I did to.  We had our up’s and down’s off and on the last almost 4 years but we always managed to make it through.  My medical issues would come and go worse and worse each time until I finally got health insurance this year after struggling to keep a budget to afford it because my ex can spend $100 at a gas station on any and everything but gas.  Long story short I was finally diagnosed with Lyme Disease and have 8 different specialist to see now YAY.  It has caused issues with almost every body system because of going so long without treatment etc.  Well on the 4th of September I went to my Orthopedic and I had x-rays of both hips that showed joint space narrowing on both sides from I assume arthritis.  Also with the other symptoms I have they referred me to Neurology because I have upper motor neuron signs and I am waiting to have MRI’s of my spine and neck then go from there.  At that appointment they said it was indicative of spinal stenosis but the upper motor neuron signs is a brain issue and it is a bad or worse case scenario there is no good outcome.  So let’s bring it back to my ex and that cluster f**k situation, I have been getting worse and it is hard for me to walk, clean, or really anything.  Example it takes him 23 steps to go to our bathroom and back it takes me 63 because I more shuffle than walk haha but I still suck it up and keep moving till I drop which is often actually.  Anyways, he has been distant for a while like I mean no touch all day and only a peck goodbye in mornings etc and I have a theory that he got use to being alone when he was working out of town weeks and weeks at a time for months.  Basically after that appointment like 5 days before our 4 year anniversary he dumped me and said he loves me but he doesn’t want to be with me or anyone.  So now we are still living and sharing a bed, he still takes care of me, and basically it is the same as before we broke up minus the title and the fact I have no say what he does.  He says it his him not me and I know that just like when people state no offense before speaking they mean offense.  I can’t help think it is me and being sick maybe it was a realization or he feels like I am holding him back really not sure because feelings can’t be spoken of in this house.  He also ignores me all day barely speaks always has a reason to leave the house or face plants in the phone the only way to get any type of reaction longer than 5 words is to bring up “us” then giant argument but hey better than being ignored.  He said he still loved me I dunno about now.  What am I suppose to think or feel about this and where do I go from here?  Anyone got any advice?