In the interest of Staying Positive

I’ve developed an artist crush on one of the vendors at Faire.

She’s really quite beautiful. Her energy is alluringly intoxicating. She’s very much the alpha female persona of her world.

She’s welcoming. I should, however, present my neck, as I do no wish to challenge her. I’m unsure of cat protocol of acceptable mate potentials. Not that she would have any inclination to mate. Nor should I wish to complicate my life further by attracting that attention.

And yet, I do.

not odd. Just truth.

Erin deserves so much more than me. I am a cheater. I do hurt her. It does make me a bad person. And no matter how many good intentions, it won’t make up for what’s really going on in my mind.

I could tell her. But it would only scare her and make her think that she’s not worthy of my attention. Which isn’t the case at all. I am just too wild a beast for her to tame. I need for someone to tame me.

If I know these things and keep them to myself, am I protecting her? Or lying to her?