Kingdom of Loathing.

I’ve talked about it several times and those that read anything I had to say have been left confused and/or generally with apathy towards the concept. So now I’m going to explain what it is, why it’s great, and why everyone should have a go at it.

Kingdom of Loathing is a fantasy online RPG where you assume the role of one of six character classes, the Seal Clubber (Standard Fighter/Barbarian), Turtle Tamer (Defender, emphasis on Defense and Pets), Accordion Thief (Classic D&D Bard, can steal and buffs self/other players), Disco Bandit (The only class I’m not too sure about but I think is more like a straight up thief.), Saucerer (Which is a standard caster but has some defensive spells) and the Pastamancer (Which is another standard caster but is in many ways better than the Saucerer because he can use powerful Chef-staves without wasting an accessory slot). Once you pick a class and gender you’re off on your quest to save King Ralph the IX from the Naughty Sorceress. To do so you must embark on many other quests and side quest of exploration.

The game itself is multiplayer and in the Clan Basement even Massive Multiplayer but not in the traditional sense firstly because of the graphics. Most notably is the fact that almost all the graphics are stick figures. That’s not to say that it isn’t inventive or interesting because they certainly are you can tell all the items apart by sight.

The entire thing is browser based where almost every action costs an adventure (turn). You get a base of 40 adventures a day but you can get more per day by via joining a clan, certain gear, and items you can get for your campground. You also get more adventures by eating food and drinking booze but each food comes with a fullness value so that you can only eat so much, and the same thing with booze. This limits the total number of adventures a day and so you can’t become addicted to the game and can only play for maybe two hours a day at max.

What makes the game awesome is that virtually everything in the game is a nod, pun, reference, or something to something else. For instance the Meatloaf Hat. The description: "You’d do anything for this hat, anything but that."

For instance as a Seal Clubber you can summon Infernal Seals such as the Hermetic Seal. You can get a Cyborg Stomping Boot which "It’s too big to wear on your foot, but you can kinda stand inside it, and it lets you jump on stuff while protecting you from harm. All in all, it’s pretty much the perfect power-up." It’s of course a reference to the Super Mario Brothers 3 green book available in world five that you can jump into and stomp around on bad guys.

You fight in such areas as the Orc Chasm. (If you don’t get the joke try saying it out loud.) Almost everything is hilarious.

What makes the game so great is that if you’re playing it for the first time you feel every time you do something that it’s the first time it’s ever been done and you’re a pioneer. You feel like such an awesome player. I’ve been playing the game with three characters for over a year now and I keep finding new stuff. (I just recently got a Spirit Precipice sword and Ocarina of Space for the first time.)

There is no level cap though you stop getting class skills at level 15 (but there are tons of other skills you can learn through quests and side quests and exploration). The highest I’ve gotten was level 21. Once you complete the main quest you can "Ascend" which means you get to take all your money and gear with you and start the game back over at level one but you can change your class and gender. Now, depending on what type of ascension you undergo you can select a skill to take with you and make permanent. This means that eventually you can have a character that has every skill in the game.

It’s a whole lot of fun and I suggest that everyone gives it a try. If you do, send me a message. My characters are Meatie (my main), Man0Ray and Apinamies (my alts). Send me a message and I can help you with items, money, food, booze, and advice. I look forward to seeing anyone interested online!

–RK