Status Quo

I need to make it clear that I never stopped loving or being in love with *CA.*
Even with Sprite, the only other woman I truly loved, CA had her place in my heart and try as i did, I could never let her go.
Some would consider this a sign of mental illness and believe me, I get it, I sometimes  wonder myself. That being said, I have always had the dream, no matter how unlikely, that one day…
As mentioned in a previous entry, after Sprite passed away I reached out to her but never maintained contact, she was still very distant and I was in a bad frame of mind and did not need the stress. At this time I still believed that she utterly hated me and I saw no change in that over the last 30 years.