no moss

ever hate how you watch a really good movie, read a really good book, or maybe have a little too much to drink and it puts you in such a thoughtful mood that all of your demons come out and you just start thinking about things too much? – things that are over and done and really dont affect you anymore. youve already worked your way through them. but some sad masochistic (though you claim its just sentimental) way, you just bring it all back up in your head again and feel the need to work through all of those agonizing details and try to squeeze out some new shade of meaning because that ‘something’ convinced you that further contemplation might make your life make more sense or at the very least give some justification to all of that confusion and just maybe to some of the pain and guilt. maybe its just estrogen. but there is definitely something in me that, at times, drives me to find meaning in everything by completely and irrationally over-analyzing everything. really. what good comes from turning up old stones? all it does it create this faux sense of self-doubt.

lately i have been overly sentimental (i guess) and missing the big parts of my old life. old friends, memorable times, and definitely the ways things use to work.

maybe its the 9-5 job.

i need a new adventure.

am i over-analyzing to be trying to put together some pattern of this type of attitude that seems to be reoccurring every two years for me?

regardless of where its coming from, there has been this internally growing need for to reconnect with something.