5/20/07

i was going through some old papers at home when i found this poem. i wrote it when i was 16 after… well, i don’t want to get into the details but someone i cared about that had been sick suddenly died.

 

one heart stops beating

one hundred hearts break

you take advantage and think they’ll always be there

the sound of the balloon violently popping, painful realization

the feeling of a dark and unforgiving hole

it seems like it’s an empty hole that’s far away

but sometimes it’s a painful hole right inside your chest

i don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now

don’t force me to deal with them

i know it’s not fair

it’s never been fair

it makes me different from everyone else

i’m not suppose to feel lonely but how can i not?

i’m separate

don’t say you’re sorry

it doesn’t make sense

it wasn’t your fault and all you do is remind me of the pain instead of taking it away

stop looking at me like that

why would you try to imagine what it’s like?

there’s this yearning to go back to the way things were before

but atleast i don’t have to be afraid anymore.