What have i learned today….

…hmm let’s see…

I learned:

1) that because i got pregnant at 13, i am the worlds worst mother to ever live.

2) my daughter missed out on a childhood

3) i missed a lot of growing up.

4) that people are never what they seem

5) that even people who are my friends are disgusted that i had a daughter thats 6 years old.

I’m sure i learned more but these are the ones that stuck out the most

i just randomly found your diary. i’m not going to give you sympathy or anything. but life is what you make it. you treat it as shit, your life becomes shit. things do happen in life and you just try to make the best of it. instead of sulking on the computer, go hang out with your daughter. in the end, she’s the best gift you’ll ever get. just dont do something stupid.

smoke&glitter

February 29, 2004

Im not digusted. I’ll always be here when you need me. You know exactly who I am because you can read my private thoughts. Be strong. You can get through this. Jo xxx *hugs*

You forget how easily happy little children are; all they want is love and the necessities. You certainly gave your daughter love and by allowing your family to help, you gave her the necessities. The picture of her for dance shows a happy smiling little girl who is more concerned about whether or not she’ll get to do bar next to her best friend NOT a little girl who is concerned about ur anorexia

(OD cut me off)… don’t underestimate Alyssa. I would be willing to bet you gave her a wonderful, although not ideal childhood. You cannot blame yourself for the mistakes of the past but you can ensure that they don’t happen again and that they are rectified to the best of your ability. It’s not too late for you. Make a difference… do something to help get children vacinated for the flu, do…

… something to help children take dances classes and live childhood’s, go to Africa and volunteer. My point is that Alyssa had a happy life, one that my have been oblivious to the subcontext of her life, but a fun one at least. Also, you can do something to prevent other children’s lives from being cut short. As far as you missing out on growing up, so true. You were robbed of a childhood. But..

…consider what you got in return and I don’t mean the negative stuff. If you’re honest with yourself, I think you’ll realize that the positive might not outweigh the negative but that it makes the negative seem insignificant. That being said, you can grow up whenever you want. I think I disagree with you Jess. I think you’ve grown up too much. I think you need to discover what it is to be…

…carefree. You need to somehow forget about all the problems that your aware of. You need to be able to live without thinking about it, like a child. I’m not sure that I am the one to tell you how, but I am someone who will be here for you every step of the way. Finally, people who are disgusted with you because you had a child at the age of 13 are ridiculous and not worth your time. Anyone…

… who fails to realize that there are greater social and environmental factors working when a 13 yr old becomes pregnant is simply put dumb. You are who you are because of your past and you’ll become your future because of the present. You can make yourself into your ideal by making the right decisions now. One day everything will be alright and you’ll be able to look back and trace how you…

.. you became a different person. ~Katie

Hi Jess. I just wanted to let you know that everything you said in my opinion should not make anyone think any less of you. Personally, I look up to you more because of everything you’ve been through and I think you are an even stronger person that I thought. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re an amazing girl with a lot to offer. LYTTBAATT <3 Rachel

If people can’t accept you, AND your daughter, then you don’t need them. Stop by my diary. We have a lot in common. And i do NOT think you are a bad person because you have a daughter