My Soldier

Life has a way of spiraling out of control. Too much, too fast and then at some point just not enough. After my son left for basic training I began to count the days. I pounced on every letter, voraciously devouring every line and memorizing every word. He loved us and missed us. He learned what precious things "home" and "family" are. He wrote the sweetest letters. They got a tad bit soggy after I read them a time or two.
We arranged for the two youngest boys to be excused from school. Mama wanted to go with us to see Michael graduate. That meant there were six of us in my Tahoe. It was interesting. Our hotel rooms were connecting which basically meant that there was NO escape from anyone for the four days.
Family Day was on Thursday. We arrived early and were surprised to find that it was more than a little breezy. Time passed like molasses in January. We suffered through announcements and demonstrations. I will say the latter was very impressive, lots of colored smoke and some very loud BOOMS!
Then suddenly the woods were alive and a seemingly endless stream of soldiers came running onto the field and took their places in formation. Somewhere in that sea of green was my son. I kept telling myself to remain calm, to wait my turn getting down and out of the stands and not to knock over the little old ladies that were moving entirely too slow for my liking. Then I had a clear shot at the field.
I began walking faster. I never said a word. I just allowed my gaze to drift over the soldiers, taking my time but never slowing my steps. Suddenly I stopped and placed my hand on the shoulder of a soldier with his back to me. I tightened my grip and spun him around. He was talking and saying something about, "If my mom doesn’t find me soon…." Then I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms. I heard his friends say, "Well never mind. House’s mom found him and never said a word!" These people think they are dealing with an amateur. I KNOW my children.
I held him for a long time. I don’t know which one of us was squeezing tighter, him or me. I just know that it felt so GOOD to hold him again. Then reluctantly I let him go and moved aside so that everyone else could get a hug. He was so thin! He was not a heavy weight when he left but my child had lost 25 lbs in the 2 1/2 months he had been gone.
We were introduced to his "battle buddy". There is actually a group of young men that my son became very close to while he was going through this training. They are known as the "6". They are fine young men. I feel like I have gained 5 more sons. We spent the time exploring the base and just soaking up the fact that we were together again.
More than once I felt daddy’s presence. Mama even commented on it when we were in the Exchange. She ran her hand over a wool blanket and said, "PeePaw would have been in heaven here. He would have been able to tell you where everything was, or at least where it SHOULD be." I know beyond a doubt that daddy would have been extremely proud of Michael. He was always proud of his grandchildren but this would have been something special. Daddy was already sick when Rick went through basic for the Air Force but he was bursting with excitement and pride when anyone mentioned it. I wish he could have been there. I wish a lot of things. I think, in many ways, that daddy was there with us.
Graduation was another proud moment. There were lots of pictures taken. I lost track of the times I just had to reach out and put my hand on Michael’s shoulder or stroke his back. In my heart he will always be that little boy with the mischievous smile and dancing blue eyes. I kept reminding myself that he is a man now and that I have to take a step back and let him show the world what he can do.
We bought him a laptop for graduation. He will need it for school. His brothers and sister enjoyed spending time with him. Some things never change. When Michael was leaving the hotel to go back to base on Friday evening he was passing out hugs. We won’t see him again until Christmas. He hugged Sam and MeeMaw. He put his arm around Ben and smiled at me. Then I noticed that Ben was wincing a bit. "You are standing on my foot Michael" to which Michael replied, "Yeah, I know."
We left everyone at the hotel when we took him back to base. I wanted to spend some time with Michael, just the three of us. We had dinner together and he bought a few last minute items for his trip to Arizona the following morning. When it was finally time, when we couldn’t put it off for another minute, we took him back to the Company area.
I put my arms around him and held him as close as I could. I tried to tell him how proud he had made me, had always made me. I tried to tell him how much I love him. It was hard to talk around the boulder sized lump that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in my throat. The tears leaked out. Then Michael stepped back and wiped his face. "Gee mom now you have me doing it." It wasn’t easy but I let him go, again. The tears continued falling. Sadness and pride all mixed up together leaving their mark.
Now it is official. My son is a soldier! I am so proud of him.