changed forever

It has taken me a week to even think about putting this into words. Almost ten days ago life changed in this little corner of the world. Storms are a part of life here in the South. Sadly one becomes complacent when the sirens sound or the warnings are issued. They are inconvenient, an annoyance. I no longer have the luxury of such ignorance.
We were still clearing up from the last round of storms a few days earlier. Straight line winds had taken out 2 large trees in our backyard and crushed the back shed. One minute we were standing there in the dining room listening to the wind howl and the next a tree was laying across the deck with its branches pressed tightly to the kitchen window. Amazingly enough it didn’t break the glass or damage the house.
The pressure from the storm was so great that I couldn’t even open the front door. I was so worried because our silly cat refused to come inside earlier and was still out in the storm. I tugged with all my strength and couldn’t break the seal on the door. It was only after the calm descended that I could throw open the door and look outside. The sky was black and the wind was still doing odd things to the trees and shrubs but the worst was over. We lost power but we were alright.
The boys left school early to come home and help try to make emergency repairs (removing as much debris as possible from the deck and stairs) and just in case the storm really wasn’t over. My husband took 12 days vacation. He needed the rest and we needed to deal with insurance claims and cutting the trees up to move them.
We had only "just" settled with insurance and hauled most of the debris away when word came that another line of storms was heading our way. We took ice and tarps to a friend whose roof had been damaged. Everyone was phoning and telling us to hurry home. The first drops of rain began to fall while we were at their house. The roads hadn’t been opened long. Power lines were still down everywhere. Massive damage to landscape and all from straight line winds. A thunderstorm had done all this.
We got home and settled in to wait. Nothing ever comes from all the commotion and stress of these warnings. We might lose power but that is about it. But just to be safe I had candles and flashlights at the ready. My husband was watching the weather on t.v. The announcers sounded a bit panicky. This storm was big they kept saying. Then my husband did something he has NEVER done before. He made us all get in the small hallway just off the boy’s bedrooms. He even had Ben get his mattress and place it to block possible flying glass. 
Lauren and I sat on the floor holding the cat (for once he was where he needed to be) while the boys paced. My husband was on the front porch. He said he was "watching". For what I have no idea. I didn’t want to see. It was hard to breathe. The air was oppressive and the wind just kept pushing and pulling at the house.
Just before the power went and our link with the outside world with it, we heard the newscaster say that the storm was headed for downtown Tuscaloosa. I never heard the sirens. I didn’t really hear anything but the wind and my own racing heart. Then it was over. Just like that. It stopped.
The horror of what had just happened is still sinking in. Stories began to immerge of the damage. People were screaming and crying for help. People were searching frantically for loved ones who were beside them in the moments before the storm and then were just ‘gone’. Some people died.
The neighborhood where my grandparents lived was erased. The familiar places of my childhood were leveled. Fear and pain had followed that storm. Schools were destroyed. Homes were picked up and moved from their foundation. Destruction was massive. Injured people were roaming the streets in shock. In some cases bodies were found blocks from where the victims were last known to be.
It breaks my heart. This is the place where I was born, where I grew up. This is my home. It has been changed forever. We will rebuild of course. Southerners are resilient. We survive. It does something to your soul when you see a place that you love so much, that is a part of you changed to the point that you cannot recognize it. I have seen photographs and I don’t know where it was taken because ALL landmarks are GONE. Now there is blue sky and the twisted wreckage of our town.
There is also hope. People are coming together in ways that shock outsiders. The numbers using official shelters are extremely low because neighbors are opening their homes and churches are providing assistance. They have had to turn people away who wanted to donate blood because the number of volunteers was overwhelming the system. My children have volunteered. I wanted to but I was sick (temperature) and the doctor said I was doing my part by staying away. I am extremely accident prone so he is not being unreasonable.
The cost of removing the rubble (not rebuilding, just hauling the debris away) is estimated at almost $2billion. Last time I checked the death toll was holding at 41 in our town alone. The number of missing continues to decline. People are still recovering in hospitals.
My children lost a friend. A lot of people did. The bits and pieces of lives were blown clear into the next state. I haven’t been in to the areas that received the worst damage. Part of that is because of road blocks and strict limits on access and part of it is because I think it would hurt too much to see it.
Several of the residents at the assisted living facility where Lauren works are taking all of this extremely hard. They used to live in the areas that were hit. They lost their homes once when they were moved into the facility and now they lost the hope of ever seeing them again.
If you are one of those who watch the weather and don’t take the warnings seriously, please don’t be cavalier in the future. This F4 had winds of 190 mph. The storm lasted only a few minutes. The destruction was complete. The pain and the trauma it left behind will always be there. I am blessed beyond my ability to comprehend it because my family survived. Right now that is all that matters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agcVhHLhg68&feature=player_embedded