anyone?

Did you ever sit and study an insect that had been unlucky enough to encounter a spider’s web? The victim was probably minding its own business when suddenly its feet are glued down and the harder he struggles, the more ensnared he becomes. I am sure that the creature continues to fight against the sticky trap, always thinking that at any moment it will be free and can escape. I am sure that thought is firmly planted somewhere in its consciousness right alongside "hope". At least it is there until it simply isn’t. Hope is elusive at best. Keeping a firm grip on it is like trying to catch smoke, fog, or soap bubbles.  You might be able to maintain the illusion, but don’t fool yourself into thinking it is real. The very second you try to close your fingers it will disappear as if it was never there at all.
I am in a very precarious place. I feel like I have fallen down a very deep well. I catch glimpses of the sky but nothing more. The sides are slick and smooth from moisture and time. There are no handholds, no rope, nothing to cling to in order to climb out. I’m stuck.
I am bombarded with situations that are truly hopeless. I know going in that it can only end bloody. I can’t win and I know it. I am so tired. I can’t carry on a conversation with anyone. I end up repeating myself because no one is actually LISTENING. I know that I am speaking coherent English and yet everyone in this house makes me feel like Charlie Brown’s teacher!
I don’t know where you sign up for it, but I would like one of those days where I am not a target. I don’t need a lifetime, or even a whole week. I just want one day where nothing blows up in my face, no one blames me for things I can’t control, and I am not existing with a permanent knot in my stomach. Please? Just point me in the general direction of the signup sheet. That’s all I ask.