Rolling with the changes

There have been so many changes lately and I feel a little overwhelmed I am really not good with change. Even good change can feel overwhelming. My oldest is now 2000 miles away staying with my mother and I miss him so much. I know he is happy and thats what he wanted but its extremely hard. The girls are going to start their last year in middle school tomorrow.

I left my old job which I will be honest I didn’t love but I liked my co-workers most people were getting done though that contract ends in November. It was supposed to end in July but it was extended. I started my new job on Tuesday finished training on Friday and I officially start my new position tomorrow. I still find it strange working from home. I have to get in a routine of doing everything from my house.

As a government employee our work did not stop nor did we work from home so when everyone was talking about quarantining I never experienced that my work continued as normal from the office. Now with this new contract I am working from home its strange.

My daughter and I have spent a lot of time together lately almost to the point of exhaustion we have been watching Death Note together the anime I’m actually really into it and I have been careful not to cheat and google what happens. We are on episode 25 I believe. It’s actually been really good for me because I have been fighting depression pretty badly. I could easily just go to bed as soon as I am off work and just sleep all my time away. Even my medicine doesn’t seem to be touching it lately.

I am just trying to accept that I can’t control everything that is going on and I can’t escape it sometimes the only thing I can do is to actively sit in the discomfort and be aware of it.